What is your source of safety ?


Is this ok
Is that ok
Thinking you’re being polite?
Or being cautious?

Looking for approval
Anywhere you can get it
Can this approve of me
Can that approve of me
Is this ok
Is that ok


For me it was when I got scared for being yelled at for doing something that someone else disapproved.

That someone was very important to me.
It was my source of safety.

When your source of safety stops working.
You fear for survival.
You would do anything to fix that.

Since i was little kid i had no clue what is allowed and what is not.
So i became aware of what might be disapproved and i asked about it, if it’s allowed.

I didn’t want to feel unsafe ever again.
I started asking approval about behavior, appearance, worthiness.

Not being certain whether things are approved or not was scary.
Because then i might lose my feeling of safety.

The need to know wether i was approved or not was born.

This is where we lose ourselves to society to parents.
Striving to please to get approved.
Living in fear of not being safe if we wouldn’t do what everybody else expects from us to do.

Loosing self.

Not knowing if what we do is ok becomes scary. Uncertainty becomes scary.

So we do what everybody else does.
Learning what is safe for us to do and to say.
Otherwise something bad might happen.

But What?
What will happen?


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