Why do I feel bad when others feel bad

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The people we care about sometimes go thru emotions that we pick up such as
Anger
Sadness
Irritations

You might instantly feel bad about that person not feeling good.

Why is that?

You have a belief that

Your loved one happiness has a direct effect on your happiness.
Because their happiness is very important to you.

As a result, you sacrifice your current state of being.
By tuning to their state, because you actually believe that you could actually help them by being as they are right now… which sucks.

You’re trying to identify with something you’re not.
Trying to identify with an emotion that doesn’t resonate within you.. in your moment of being.
This feels like shit.
But you do it anyway.

Your belief is causing you to do that.
You believe that you can fix them.

Your body’s feelings are telling you otherwise.
But you don’t give a shit about that.
You’re used to ignoring your own feelings.

This way you sabotage yourself unknowingly.
Trying to be something you’re not.
Trying to make less of yourself.
Just to make that person feel good.

This is not compassion.
This is fear.

You fear if they don’t feel good you won’t feel good.
Because you imagine that their happiness is your happiness.

So … you put on a suite
But it is too tight.
It hurts
You don’t care
The mission is above all.
To help someone to feel good by feeling as shitty as they feel.

They are upset
You pick that up.
You realize you can’t help them.
Now you’re upset
They are not picking up on what you’re trying to do.

You’re upset at them.
How dare they, I’m trying to help them.

But in reality, you’re trying to help yourself.
You’re the one trying to be happy when someone important to you is sad.
The only way for you to be happy is for them to be happy.

Ridiculous isn’t it?

You feel helpless when you fail to help them.

They got your happiness. In their left pocket.
And they’re refusing release it, refusing to feel good.

You believe that their happiness is your happiness.

How dare they be sad don’t they know that their happiness is my happiness.
Why do they want to hurt me!?

You see.
You see them as you.

You want to help out of fear for yourself, out of fear for your happiness.

This is not compassion.
This is fear.

You believe the circumstance is something that your happiness is depended on.

The circumstance of being the person you care about.

You perceive yourself as the victim
Victim of circumstance.

You’re blinded emotionally by everything that you believe your happiness depends on.

That’s why you’re upset or sad when your loved ones are.

Feeling bad for not loving yourself right now.
Because you believe that you can’t right now.
You can’t because you believe that someone else doesn’t love you right now.

A partner
A parent
A friend
Your boss
Society

Imagine walking around and being afraid of not being accepted by society.
Acception is love.

While being receptive to emotions of others
Blinded by them.

Walking around and trying to please everyone.

This is how your child feels when he develops a dependency on your approval.

This is how you feel when you lose the self to others.
To circumstance.

It’s time to wake your Self up.

True compassion is believing that a person can overcome anything, be happy again.
The last thing that person needs is to see you feeling exactly like them.

Yours truly,
Boris

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Self realization, Self awareness, mentor, speaker, blogger.

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