Again !!! Why ???

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Recurring circumstance

Do you notice a recurring circumstance or appearance in your life,
that is followed by an emotion that you don’t like?

Sometimes the emotion is so strong or uncomfortable,
that we focus mainly on the disliking of the emotion itself
the disliking of it being here, again.
When will this thing leave me alone already!

This upsetting, annoying thing doesn’t let me be,
why doesn’t it leave me in peace?
It’s only making me feel bad.
I don’t want to feel bad right now.
I want to feel good.

Understand that whatever emotion you’re feeling,
your body doesn’t care, it has no preference of emotion.
Your body is just like an instrument playing notes, making musical tunes, with emotions.
Sometimes the tune is joyful, sad, scary.
Sometimes it makes you feel bad.

Nevertheless, it is your body communicating with you.
Trying to tell you something.

Stop going to this job you’re killing yourself, follow your passion.
Stop judging yourself and others, love yourself and others.
Stop thinking these horrible thoughts, they are not true.
You are beautiful.
Stop hurting yourself.

When the tunes that the body is playing don’t feel good
you need to stop everything you’re doing and listen.
Just listen don’t do anything else.
Just listen to every single note, that’s it.

But sometimes as it happens the music is so sad that
it will take time to open yourself up to it,
to really listen until the end.

Don’t despair, with practice you’ll come to appreciate the sad tunes.
You’ll see their beauty, just like you see it in joyful tunes.
It doesn’t mean that you’ll experience this for the rest of your life.
This is not something that comes after you to haunt you.

Eventually, it is up to you, your willingness to be open to listen.
To feel it.
To be with it.

It’s important to notice that all you can do is listen.
You can’t do anything to stop it from playing again until
the tuned has played thru till the end.
Any attempt to do anything else other than listening will be considered as
ignoring, denying, rejecting, looking away from the tune being played.

Even when you try to calm yourself,
calm your breath
calm your heartbeat
calm your mind
Thinking good thoughts.
It is all considered ignoring the tune.

However, calming yourself is much preferred over
depression and living in fear, but it is only a momentary relief.
You’re essentially ignoring the tune.

Don’t despair, take your time, you’ll get there.
Don’t look away.
Be with whatever tune your body is making.
Don’t make preferences, it is your body we’re talking about, it is you.
Forgive yourself for ever being upset with yourself.
It is all you.

Yours truly,
Boris

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