Living faster than life

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We’re always looking for something that isn’t here yet.

Always in expectation.
In restlessness
In waiting state
In anticipating state
Constantly checking to validate that what I want is already here now.

But it’s not.
Because I’m not here. I’m in my mind’s constant anticipation.

I keep checking.
In five minutes.
In ten minutes.
In a minute.
In an hour.
Every morning.
Every day.
Checking for what is not here yet.
That becomes a habit, an obsession.

Because what is here now, I do not want or is not enough.
Because I want to feel great now.
What is here now, makes me sad, it’s not interesting.

When will that something arrive, so can feel good?
I want to feel good every single second of my life.
Because I care about how I feel.
So I’ll keep checking. I’ll keep looking for what can make me feel better now.
It’s worth checking and looking for that better something.
When that something arrives, I’ll be happier.
I’ll feel amazing.
I’ll look and check, look and check…

It’s great to anticipate, to dream.
What is not great is feeling disappointment, discovering you’re not there yet.

It’s ok to look, to want to know.
But it is not ok is to beat yourself over not having what you want.
Although it is an option. It is an option that feels like shit.

Sometimes we choose that option every time.
And every time we feel like shit when we do.
When we find out that nothing has changed.

But we mean well,
We hope for things to be better.
We want to feel good.

We get addicted to feeling good.
We are looking to feel good all the time, that’s why we’re in constant anticipation.
We check our –
Facebook likes
Instagram likes
Our weight

We check the time for that
5-minute break and wait for the next one.
Check the stock market
Our bank account

Checking and getting disappointed when reality doesn’t meet our expectation.
Because we’re trying to be at the destination before arriving.
Living faster then life is happening.
Just because we decided that now is not good enough.
Decided that feeling less than amazing or great is not good enough.

Escaping life as it is right now.
What we feel right now.

Perhaps now is the time to feel sad
Now is the time to be angry or mad
Because life is now. Not later.
Being with life now and learning to see all of life.
Will set you free.
Will make you independent from any external stimulant, appearance or circumstance.
Any need to judge, and make a preference of what you feel.
Nothing will ever take your freedom because you can be effortlessly with anything life throws at you.

When you will stop looking for a better life.
A better life will start looking for you.

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Self realization, Self awareness, mentor, speaker, blogger.

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