If you can’t see yourself, you can’t change your life

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It’s time you notice.
Just notice.

If you want to change your life you need to want to notice yourself.
You’re not required to do anything else.

Notice your thoughts.
Notice your behavior.
Notice your emotions.

It’s not hard to notice.

It’s getting hard when you judge what you notice.
When you fight what you notice.
When you look away from what you notice.
When you express your dissatisfaction.
Your displeasing opinions.

When you do that.
You choose the state of discontent.
Choosing to see what is wrong.
But then again, when you do that… Just notice that.

The only one that decides that anything is wrong is you. Notice that.

So how do you change?

Step one – Notice.

Notice anything that doesn’t feel good.

Then notice your opinions and thoughts about it.

If you don’t have any.
Notice your emotions.
Do you have opinions about your emotions?

Hint: You might not like your emotions.

If you don’t like them.
You are judging them.
You wish they weren’t here.

Notice the judging.

This is natural, we want to feel good all the time, so we judge everything, that makes us feel bad, including us.

It is natural to judge.
Natural to not like our feelings or emotions.
Continue to notice, continue to be aware.

We want to notice everything that we are.
We want to be aware.
You cannot change your life if you’re unaware of yourself in your life.

If you practice noticing long enough.
You get to know yourself, you get to know what you don’t like.

What you fight and disagree.
What you do, when you don’t like yourself and how you feel about that.

All from noticing.

 

Step two – Don’t give up.

You need to do this as much as you can continuously.
Most people will give up.
Because we hate feeling bad.
We numb our feelings.
We don’t like feeling them.
Nevertheless noticing and observing them.

You might say I already feel like shit.
I don’t want to sit there, observe myself feeling like this.

If you don’t, you are running from being aware and awake from whatever is happening right now with you, in your life.

If you’re not looking, how do you expect to see? Literally. How do you expect your life to change? You need to see life, every second of it, as it is. If you want to change. If you want your life to change.

You want this.
You want to wake up to life. Whatever it may be in this moment.

Notice everything.

Notice the will to look away.
To run.

Step three – Surrendering.

If you noticed and looked long enough, upon whatever is bothering you, you will get tired of whatever is bothering you.
A moment will come when you will stop fighting and judging. Just like that.

Because you’ve noticed so many times over and over.
The resistance, the tiring behavior, the tearing of your soul.
You don’t want it anymore.
You give up.
You surrender to the fighting.
You don’t care that you surrender.
You don’t mind giving up.
You don’t care what you think about it or what others may think.
You don’t give a shit anymore.

You know why?

Because you care about yourself.
You’ve reached a point that you care about yourself a little bit more now.
You won’t tolerate your own fighting anymore.
You’ve seen this so many times.
You’ve exhausted yourself by noticing what is bothering you and you made a decision to be without.

Congratulations! – I am not kidding, this is huge when it happens.

This might not happen the next day or maybe the next month. It all depends on the dedication that you’re willing to put into noticing.

With time you will develop a natural habit for this.
A natural curiosity.
Some will want to know why they are fighting life, others won’t, and that’s ok.
Life is happening regardless of meaning that we give to it.
If you’re curious you’ll notice the meanings to your fights.

To sum things up.

If you want to be happier.
If you want to live a happier life.
You need to see your dissatisfaction with life.
You need to see what you don’t like.
You need to feel this.
Be with it.
Be with life whatever it is.
Notice life.
Don’t look away.

If you do look away…. Notice that you looked away.
Practice noticing so that on the tenth time, you will want to notice.

Because you’re tired of ignoring.
Become aware of what you’re doing to yourself.
If you look away you’ll have no idea what you’re doing to yourself until the day you die.
Become aware of the point that you’re awake to yourself. To who you are.

Wake up to who you are.
Give yourself this gift of knowing what you are doing to yourself.
So that you can choose better, next time.

With love
Boris.

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