Fear Health Personal Growth

Who is to blame?

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Do you perceive yourself as being an inseparable part of your life’s circumstance?

You might think that your thoughts and emotions only come up as a direct reaction to circumstance. The circumstance that comes to get you, to hurt you, to make you miserable.

If only the circumstance around me was exactly as I picture it then I would be okay, in fact, I would be more than okay I would be happy if things aligned to my will.

Average person’s reaction to a circumstance that doesn’t meet his or her satisfaction, goes something like this.

“This horrible thing happened to me today, and then .. I felt like really bad, and then… I thought about what happened, which made me feel even worse”,

When we witness something outside of ourselves, we begin to experience it, inside of ourselves with thoughts and emotions that make us feel. The emotions we feel usually appear as a direct result of what happened in the outside world.

The cause and effect are very clear to us. We pinpoint the logic in every situation that hurts us.

“He said that …. that hurt me a lot”

“She looked at me this way… I felt offended”

“They behaved like they didn’t care… I felt neglected”

“He didn’t bring me ice cream … he doesn’t love me”

A person who’s not aware of his false beliefs will always see himself as a righteous victim to circumstance.
I didn’t say or did anything wrong, why did they say/do that, that hurt my feelings.

If you find yourself living this kind of life where you are getting hurt all the time. Your life got you around its little finger to do whatever it pleases with you.

You are perceiving life’s circumstance as something that is out of your control. 

“Suddenly this happened”

”I didn’t expect this to happen to me”

“I didn’t see this coming”

A classic one  – “I thought this time things would be different”


Imagine that you’re watching a live theater show.
You’re sitting in the audience. Now, some of the actors on stage sais something that makes you feel bad. Perhaps he reminded you of something unpleasant. Perhaps he said something that contradicts your belief. It hurts you a lot, emotionally. You know that the actor was not talking to you, he was talking to another actor. You know that you are watching a show, a fictional show. But your emotions don’t care, you are offended.

Do you storm out of there, hating the show, never recommend it to anyone?

Do you blame your friend that recommended that show to you?

Do you blame the actor that said that thing that offended you?

Do you blame yourself for going out and having a bad time?

If you think that there is someone to blame in that circumstance you are wrong my friend.

Everything happened as it was supposed to happen. This is life’s little secret.

Life will try to do everything in its power, bringing you circumstance to point out to you, your struggles and false beliefs that you have in life.

You might say – Okay, but why do I have to suffer these emotions?

Appearing emotions are just a part of experiencing the circumstance.
Just like your body’s senses that allow you to experience the physical world.
There are senses that will tell you that touching fire will hurt you.
The same way there are emotions that will tell you that thinking, believing certain things will hurt you, will limit your freedom and happiness.

However emotions are not something, we have direct control over.
Unlike thoughts that can be manipulated and manifested by will.
Emotions cannot.

Emotions are a part of creation, but not ours. We feel emotions when experiencing appearance and circumstance, just like we use our eyes to see. Emotions are a sense, just like vision and hearing. But emotions are more than just a sense. Emotions can be triggered by any other sense in your body. They can be triggered by an appearance, a thought, a memory, any circumstance really.

Emotion as itself is an experience.

We can only choose to be with emotion or to resist it. However, emotion’s appearance and disappearance are not up to us. But we do have a choice when feeling emotions.

Just like when we chose to close our eyes when we don’t like what we see. We choose to react when emotions come up. Just as we choose to react when thinking about something. Just as we choose to react when we are sensing something with our body.

We choose every time when something comes up.
Whether we allow ourselves to experience that something or not.
We make a choice.
Not reacting to something – is also a choice.
Basically, all we do is making choices according to what we experience.
We are also making choices regardless of experience, like choosing to travel the world.
Since you have a choice when emotion happens.
You have a choice to decide whether you’re stuck with that emotion.
You have a choice to resist it, to allow it.

Emotion is circumstance.
Because you can react to it in any way you wish.
Just as you react to any other circumstance.

We are the experiencers of circumstance.
We are the ones to react to circumstance.
To choose from, before, and after the circumstance.
We are the choosers.
Some of us are choosing blindly and some deliberately.

Both are choosing.

Yours truly

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