Who am I

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My friend, you are vast.
You’re beyond the darkness that you see.
You’re beyond the monsters that you fear.
You are beyond your deepest fears.
You are beyond your hardest struggles.
You’re beyond the pain.
You’re limitless. When you find your limit you discover that you’re beyond even that.
You have proven over and over again that there is no limit to what you can endure.

But you don’t see your limitlessness as strength, as vast infinite being that you are. Sometimes you see yourself as fear and weakness.
You’re looking at your experiences and you define yourself by your experiences.
You’re not the experiences my friend. You’re not the fear, the weakness, the worthiness. If you were. You would always fear, but fears appear and disappear while you remain. You are that which contains everything. That which has no limit to endure, suffer and enjoy any experience.

Look at your life.
Look at the collection of your experiences in your life.
Look at them as if they were colorful shining marbles in your ever-expanding marble collection. You are not this marble or that marble. You are not the marble that scares you, or makes you feel lonely. You are the collector of all kinds and colors of marbles.

Your collection is ever expanding, because you’re ever expanding. Each day you play with your marbles, each day adding new ones to your collection.

When sometimes experience is too strong to endure, too fearful, remind yourself that this is just another marble that you’re playing with right now.
Experiencing all its colors, feelings, emotions and thoughts. Remind yourself that your deepest fears are just marbles.

It is kind of boring to get stuck and play with a particular marble just because it scares you. If you ignore it, it is still there in your collection, not going anywhere. So pick it up and see all its colors. See that you are not it. You are the one that holds and experiences it, not the other way around. If you still fear, realize you give up your power to be the collector, the experiencer. By giving up your power you create another marble in your collection. That marble holds your belief that you are powerless because some other marble was too overwhelming or fearful to experience.

And that is ok.

All in all the collection is expanding no matter what you do. No matter what marbles you have or created.

But if you want to be happy and feel alive every day of your life, don’t be afraid to observe the colors of your marbles. Notice those that you long neglected out of fear. Notice their true colors. If you do this at your own pace, and in your own time.
I promise you that in no time you’ll be able to pick up any marble that feels bad and play with it as you do with the marbles you like.

Yours truly,
Boris.

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