Holding in fears, anger, frustration, uncertainty, doubt.
Holding in emotion that makes us feel bad.
We don’t do it on purpose, we simply don’t like how it feels that is all.
Perhaps we believe that if we will let ourselves feel and express that unpleasant emotion of – fear, doubt, anger, frustration, irritation –
That it will stay.
That someone might notice us being like this.
We will notice ourselves.
We believe how we should be, how we should behave, how we should look. So many fear the consequences, of what would be if someone will see me like this, unbalanced, in fury, in rage, broken, depressed. I don’t want to be depressed so I won’t let myself feel what I feel now. I’ll hide myself from me.
We stop ourselves from expressing ourselves, fearing the consequences, fearing our own conclusions about our own emotional state.
I won’t cry I’m strong.
I won’t cry I’m a man.
I won’t cry I don’t want someone to see that I’m weak.
I will hide my fears, my sadness from everyone including myself. Because I don’t want fear and sadness. What I want is to be normal.
What is normal ?
– There is no such thing.
Your body is normal, your emotions are normal, your fears are normal, your feelings are normal. Your body is already functioning how its supposed to look and function. Emotions, feelings, fears are a part of you. You feel them in your body. The body allows them to be. You believe that they shouldn’t be, doesn’t make your emotions and fears go away.
This simply adds more fears and emotions of frustration, by thinking thought like –
– Why aren’t I the way I want to be, the way I want to feel.
– This depression again, I hate it. I fear that someone will know this about me.
– This circumstance again, why?!! I will hide my weakness, my fears.
These thoughts add more frustrations and bad feelings.
It is challenging to open up to ourselves when we’re fearing our own beliefs in the process. If you’re in a relationship, or constantly around people, it is even more challenging , since we have social beliefs.
Beliefs hold us from opening up, expressing our emotions, feeling them.
Realize that every time you suppress, you contract. You hide yourself from the world, from life. We’re not really connected to life when we hold ourselves from expressing our emotions, because life is a flow of experiences. When experience enters your awareness and you’re holding on to it, not letting it thru your system, not releasing it. It gets stuck. If you are hurt and holding it in. You carry that pain, that experience within you because you believe it is beneficial to you to do so. Meaning that you have a belief that is preventing you from expressing yourself emotionally.
But if you are aware of that, you noticed that which feels bad.
Ask yourself – How would it be like, to get over that pain, that fear, that suffering. Allow yourself and your body to be free when you do that. Imagine that you’re falling on a huge soft pillow. Imagine losing control for a minute. Like when you get scared.
Don’t force yourself to let go. Perhaps first notice that you’re having difficulty letting go. Then allow yourself to feel that difficulty, and imagine what it would feel like allowing it to be. Imagine what it would feel like not to judge your state of being, your emotions.
See the beliefs that prevent you from not judging. Do they hold any ground?
Hope that helps.