How did I get here

person wearing shirt standing near tree

How did I get here what did I do?
What was the circumstance that got me here? I need to know why. I need some logical explanation.

It doesn’t matter how you got here. It doesn’t matter what you did.
You are distracted by your thoughts seeking logic.
Distracted by thinking about the past.
You are distracted by what you’ve done, that brought you here.

All of it doesn’t matter. All that matters is what do you want now. Do you want to be distracted?

Sure it is important to make conclusions, it’s important to learn. It is important to know yourself, how you feel. What makes you feel bad, what makes you feel good. It is important to notice that. It is important to learn from that. It is important to learn when you ignore yourself when you feel bad. But, don’t dwell on the logical explanation that feels bad.

Sometimes we seek a logical explanation in an attempt to feel better. But, the good feeling won’t always come from a logical explanation. The good feeling is before all explanations, it is clouded by the logic and the thoughts.

Realize when you’re looking for an explanation to feel good. You’re looking for a reason to give yourself a permission to feel good.
If that reason will satisfy you, you’ll be relieved about a subject that troubles you.

If you fail to find that explanation, you’re stuck with feeling bad.

You see, you have this collection of beliefs about the world, yourself, other people, about everything. This collection is like a collection of permission slips. Permission slips regarding when, where and under what circumstance you can feel good. When something “bad” happens, we look for logical explanations, trying to make ourselves feel better, being completely unaware of the beliefs we have. The beliefs that cause us to feel bad about ourselves.

That is why more often than not, we get stuck trying to find some logical explanation that can make us feel better. But, any explanation that we might find will only hide the true reasons for our bad feelings.

For example :

When you notice that you’re faced repeatedly with a circumstance in which you feel that you’re unappreciated, you look for a reason why to fix the situation.
However, not being unaware of your own beliefs, you can only come up with reasons such as –
My boss doesn’t appreciate me.
My girlfriend does not respect me.
My dad doesn’t think I’m smart enough.

The reasons you find don’t hold you accountable for your feelings.

Especially when the circumstance is about a subject that is close to your heart or perhaps someone you love. You might spend hours on hours if not days, weeks and months, trying to look for an explanation that will quiet your emotions about some issue.

If a circumstance makes you feel bad, any logical explanation that you’ll find that will make you feel better will eventually fade. Because the underlying belief will still be there and it will show itself time after time on a different occasion.

This is why people find themselves living their lives in loops. Constantly fighting their repeated circumstance. Looking the wrong way for a solution to their problems.

The relief to all your sufferings is found in your beliefs. There is no need to make new conclusions, try to remember old ones or ask someone for theirs. No need to cloud your already clouded mind with more thoughts. Just ask yourself why does it bother me. And if you won’t have an answer for that, just know that it is ok, that you are bothered. Don’t let anyone convince you that it is not okay to be bothered.

It is absolutely okay to react the way you react to everything. Cut yourself some slack. Don’t object your own reaction. Don’t struggle to find logic. You don’t have to solve anything. Just know whatever it is you’re objecting to, is here for you to notice your own objection first. It doesn’t want anything else besides your attention. It’s not asking you to solve anything. It doesn’t have demands, words or voice. It is your own voice you’re listening to that objects to everything. Notice this, and relax into noticing. Practice this until you are 100% convinced that it is only you and your beliefs that don’t allow you to be at peace.

This is the only logical explanation you’ll ever need, to any circumstance that feels bad.

Yours truly,
Boris.

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