I used to think that I’m a patient man. I thought I have the patience not to be in a hurry, to take my time, to be patient with others. But I don’t. I created the illusion of being patient, while in reality, I’m just keeping myself from showing my impatience on the outside.
I know that I need to be patient. I believe that it is the right thing to do. But sometimes my emotions want to explode. I don’t want to be seen as impatient. That’s not polite, not appropriate.
But, why do I feel impatient sometimes?
Well, I can easily come up with lots of circumstances that make me feel impatient. But I’m not interested in circumstances. Knowing what circumstances make me impatient is nice. But thinking about the circumstance doesn’t solve anything.
Is there a way to become truly patient?
When you’re impatient about something the last thing you want to do, is to force yourself to be patient. Its like saying relax to someone in stress or saying calm down to an angry person. There is nothing else that can piss them off even more.
You can’t make yourself feel the opposite of what you feel by denying what you feel.
The best thing to do is to admit to yourself what you’re feeling, even if you think it is inappropriate or not allowed, express to yourself what you feel, don’t hold back. You need to hear this. Become aware of what is making you impatient.
Impatience is actually a not so obvious fear. We fear that somehow we might get hurt emotionally. We fear that we won’t be appreciated or loved due to a circumstance that we’re witnessing or being apart of.
How to recognize what we fear?
We can trace the fear, by listening to our impatient thoughts.
And the impatient thoughts will tell us about our false beliefs that make us fear.
Impatient Thought – He is so clumsy, he can’t do anything right.
False Beliefs – If someone is clumsy he can’t prove his worthiness. If I’m clumsy I can’t prove my worthiness. If I’m not worthy I’m not loved.
Impatient Thought – He only cares about having a good time, he needs to get a job.
False Beliefs– If someone is unemployed then he is not worthy. If I’m not worthy I’m not loved.
Impatient Thought – He drinks to run away from his problems, he is weak.
False Belief – If you are not facing your problems you are weak. If I’m weak I’m not loved.
React patiently to your impatience, by letting yourself express what you are impatient about. We are impatient as a result of our own beliefs that make us fear. The stronger the fear, the stronger the impatience and the will to fix some circumstance or someone else.
Fears are the expression of our false beliefs about the world and ourselves. Know that when you fear you’re believing something that is not true, even if you don’t understand what it is yet. Expressing your own fears honestly to yourself, and seeing them clearly will reveal the false beliefs.
Be compassionate with yourself, by letting yourself be who you are in each moment. This is the only way to learn about yourself. Compassion is true patience.