Forgiving yourself

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Forgiving yourself for making mistakes, for not being perfect, for not living up to your own standards, other people standards. Self-judgment, self-blame, for failing to follow your self-created rules and beliefs.

How do we forgive ourselves? Is it possible? Is it possible to stop agonizing about the things that didn’t come out the way we expected them to? For living lives in suffering, choosing to believe in things that made us feel bad.

When it is clear in our minds why we feel the way we do, what belief is causing us to feel bad, then we decide that we don’t really want to believe that anymore. But, sometimes we might still find ourselves feeling the bad emotions related to that belief.

Why?

I might have noticed my suffering and explored the root belief causing me to suffer, and I’ve seen clearly that what I believe is no longer relevant for who I am right now. Then why the hell I’m still triggered emotionally about that belief?

You are triggered again by life so you can choose your new reaction to what was once bothering you. You see, it is not enough to only understand and make a decision in your mind regarding the new way you’ve chosen to live when you dismiss an old belief. You also need to put your money where your mouth is – as they say.
If you really made up your mind about making a change on a particular subject that was causing you to suffer, you will make that change regardless of what you feel about that subject emotionally.

The repeated emotional state is where your emotions have the opportunity to align with your mind’s realizations and your will.

Your body remembers your old reactions to your emotions and it gives you an opportunity to react differently. This is life’s way of making sure that you truly want what you’ve chosen.

Given a familiar old emotional state about your belief will you still be interested in reacting the way you did previously. Engaging yourself, your thoughts in the context of presented circumstance, in suffering, causing yourself more suffering or will you remember your realizations about this circumstance this belief, and your decision to live differently.

The reaction must be sincere. Ignoring your true will to engage in old patterns won’t bring any change. If you see that you’re still interested in engaging in suffering, that’s ok, just notice that you are. Allow yourself to be totally consumed by suffering, but be aware of the suffering. In time you will get tired of this self-destructing behavior and the transition will occur naturally.

So, the repeated emotion after your realization to change your belief is simply an opportunity to seal the deal and show you if you’re still provoked by your emotions to engage in your old suffering. Whatever your reaction might be it is okay. Don’t be discouraged by not being able to “change right now”. You’re not really “doing” here anything. You simply observing and choosing. The more you observe the easier it will be to chose, even thru suffering and feeling bad emotions.

When you’re finally convinced not to engage in old suffering and beliefs, take a moment to forgive yourself for giving yourself a hard time, every time you didn’t approve of yourself and your actions or accepted other’s disapproval of you and your actions.
Be compassionate towards yourself and allow your old emotions to be. This will align your body and mind creating a new state of being.

Yours truly,
Boris

P.S.
More on this subject in 8 Stages to Awakening eBook.  Available for free download here.

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Self realization, Self awareness, mentor, speaker, blogger.

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