You don’t need to change, to change your life. One of the biggest misconceptions about living happier lives is the need to change ourselves. You think that you need to be different from who you are right now, but you don’t need to be different. The change is not in changing yourself, the change is in allowing yourself to be free with the things that you fear, fight and ignore.
Once you start to allow yourself to be more and more with the things that bother you, you will become freer. Imagine that once you were free had no limits like infinite space for example. With time you created conditions for being who you are, limitations – how far you can go, boundaries – what you can and can’t do, all due to believing that you are threatened. From a complete limitless state of being free, you began to see limitation and boundaries. You are no longer infinite because you set yourself a bunch of rules that prevent you from being infinitely free.
You don’t have to change because you are still the same free being, only now, a little more cautious and timid about life. Being cautious makes you avoid, ignore, and fear certain things in life. The change – is the return to your old free limitless self, seeing yourself as you once did. But you can’t just throw yourself back into a pool while being afraid of the water. Some people try to face their fears while being afraid, take the attitude of – fake it until you make it, but from my experience, it doesn’t last. The smallest variation in the same cirumstance that you have “overcome” by faking it, will trigger your fears again.
How do we free ourselves from ourselves?
If you only see the flaws in who you are, you are judging yourself. Denying who you are right now. Remember you are still the same limitless, free being, but with additional beliefs that limit your freedom. It doesn’t mean that you are not capable of being free. Similar to a bird in an imaginary cage, once a bird flies to close to a wall in a cage, it is scared to crash into that wall and turns back. The wall, although it is not physical it makes the bird fear like our beliefs make us fear.
There is no point in agonizing over your lack of freedom, over the disability to be who you want to be, over needing to change. You are already what you want to be, but you can’t see it, because you persistently give your attention to your fears and limitations.
As you come to realize that there is nothing wrong with you, that you don’t need to be someone else. The conclusion will be inevitable – in order to be free, I need to allow myself to be who I am right now first. By stopping judging myself, criticising myself – first. Judgment only creates more limitations to my already constricted freedom. You need to allow yourself off the hook for not being perfect right now, for not having what you want, not because you chose to compromise, but because you are not responsible for not having what you want and being who are.
Your current circumstance is not your fault. You chose to live your life in a particular way because you thought it makes you safe. You didn’t want to crash into the walls you’ve created. You were only concerned with your safety and being loved. Everything you did was okay, there is no need to judge anymore.
Allowing oneself off the hook might take time. Because we’re used taking responsibility and control over circumstance beyond our control, it might seem that we’re avoiding being responsible. But the exact opposite is the truth. If you follow my blog you already come to realize that you have no control over your current circumstance right now.
(Quick reminder – here ). You are actually being responsible, perhaps for the first time in your life, by letting yourself see the self-perpetuated limitations, boundaries, and beliefs. Allowing yourself to be who you are right now without any demand from yourself or others.
Change is instant because you are already free. You’re not free because you chose to focus on limitations. By allowing yourself just to be, you have the opportunity to notice your fears and limiting beliefs. Notice without getting emotionally involved or at least not involved as much. Once you recognize your limiting beliefs and see the purpose they served and their current insignificance, you’ll be able to discover again that once forgotten freedom, that is you.