I want a better life. I’ve noticed that I’m unhappy and I don’t like that. So many things annoy me, bother me, I look at my life and I don’t like what I see. I have to put up with so many things because I don’t have a choice. My house, my partner, my job, my neighbors, my bank account, etc. My options are so limited. I don’t know what can I do. What do I do?
If you find yourself stuck in unhappy life and you don’t know what you can do, you realize that there is nothing you can do, there nothing you can think of doing that can make your situation better, then stop asking.
Stop asking for things to be better right now. You don’t have control over what is already happening around you. Some of the things that are happening might involve your body or might refer to you and your surrounding. But generally speaking, everything that is right now, is merely a circumstance of your previously expressed intent.
It doesn’t matter to what circumstance you were born into, it doesn’t matter if you were fortunate or not to have what you wanted from birth. Each moment that you were apart of, had it circumstance to which you reacted. Your reaction is your expressed intent of the future to come.
For example – if you were born to an abusive family, you might have reacted passively and reacted by not being abusive, or you might have reacted abusively expressing the opposite intent since you were taught by your surroundings that abuse is normal. (verbal or physical abuse doesn’t matter)
If you were born into a fearful surrounding, you might have adopted some of the fears, and the ways to react to those fear. The ways you learned to react to fears became your expressed intent. Fear of people, money, relationships, love, abuse, etc. Every time you were scared you reacted.
So how did you react?
Generally speaking, fear triggers a reaction that is commonly known as the fight-or-flight response. We either fight through fear or run from it, ignore it. So when you look around and you’re dissatisfied with your life. You need to understand a few things.
One, you were scared into believing that you need to behave a certain way in order to survive and be accepted by society – that includes your parents or whoever raised you, their acceptance of you. (Acceptance is also required for survival)
Two, you adopted various responses to your various fears. Most of the responses you adapted did not benefit you. Because all you probably did is, fight or ignore your fears – what basically means that the fears didn’t go anywhere you’re still carrying them with you whether you’re aware of this or not. Suppressing or fighting through fears doesn’t solve anything. Life will always serve you something different that will trigger those fears.
Three, life will always find a way to survive, to prosper, at least it will try very hard. More about that in just a bit.
So if you look at your life now and you find yourself displeased and stuck. Know, that your unhappy life right now is the sum of all your fearful expressed intent from the past. Which brings us to the third point – Life will always find a way to help you. If you think that you’re stuck that there is nothing you can do. You’re right. This is life’s way to stop you from doing.
Since you expressed your new and fresh intent to live a better life, life’s response to your request is – Just stop whatever you’re doing.
Think about it – Whatever you decide to do right now, being who you are right now, will evolve from your dissatisfactions, doubts, and fears in life. When you express your intent from fear – how does it feel to you? are you confident? or are you fearful? If you’re fearful you get the life that you already have. A life that you are dissatisfied with. So naturally, life stops you from doing anything, it takes away all the options all the possibilities from you so you won’t hurt yourself further – because you asked it to. But when that happens, what do we say – I’m stuck. We focus on being stuck. Well of course we are, this is what we asked for.
Now that we are free from doing, we can rest. Rest our minds, our bodies, our thoughts. Rest is important, don’t agonize about not doing when you rest. You are doing more than you ever did before. You are creating the new circumstances inside of you so you can move forward to the life you want.
How am I doing that?
Resting brings calmness and the ability to observe calmly. This is what meditation is all about. Just rest calmly and observe whatever comes up. You get a chance to observe yourself. Your thought patterns, fears, and beliefs. Do you want to carry your self-destructive thoughts, harming beliefs and fears into your new life? Of course, you don’t.
When you express what you want, you express your feelings first, you may say that you want a bigger house when you actually want more freedom and not constriction. You may say that you want a loving partner when you actually want to feel loved and not self-abused.
You see for your experience, it doesn’t really matter whether you’re abusive towards yourself in a modern 5 bedroom apartment driving a Lamborghini drinking champagne with a partner you desire or you’re abusive towards yourself in a one bedroom apartment driving a Vespa drinking tap water all by yourself.
You can give yourself all the comfort, the freedom, and the love you want just by observing who is really preventing you from feeling comfortable, loving and free. Rest at this moment right now without demands or expectations from the world, and see how it feels like. Everything else will follow.