Are You Uncomfortably Comfortable?

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Make yourself comfortable no matter what you do. Walking, running, speaking, isolating, being social, at work, at home, at school, exercising, watching TV, being lazy, just be comfortable. Make yourself comfortable physically and emotionally by relaxing and calming yourself whenever you’re uncomfortable.

So often we find ourselves uncomfortable and not giving a sh** about it, not giving attention to what is asking for our attention, our body and our emotions. By making yourself comfortable no matter where you are and what you’re going through, by choosing to be in comfort no matter what, no matter the situation no matter the thoughts that are running through your head no matter your circumstance that is making you worried, you will be able to enjoy any experience in any circumstance.

Make it your priority to become comfortable. Because you have the opportunity to do so. Choose to be in comfort, no matter what is going on in your life at every moment.

In my previous posts, I talk about the importance of knowing how you feel at each moment. Noticing your feelings and treating them as an indication to your state, then changing that state you’re currently in by reacting gracefully and with compassion to what you have noticed. However, not always when we ask ourselves the question – How do I feel? we can identify that we feel not so great. For a person being in a state of depression or anxiety for a long time feeling not-so-good has become the standard. So one might ask the question but will be totally ignorant to the state they are in. You may be accustomed to being a certain way, and you no longer notice yourself being this way, that is actually bad for you. We can’t longer differentiate and feel what is bad for us because we learned to “live with it”. However, you can always tell if you’re uncomfortable.

Insist on being comfortable. Its all you’ve got to do. If you find yourself in a position that you have to compromise your comfort due to some circumstance – social, personal or financial, if you find yourself trying to balance your comfort by compromising on your comfort, you need to realize that the situation you’re in, the situation you put yourself in, is the cause of your discomfort.

Perhaps it is time to reassess your current situation, to see if your current situation in life no longer supports what you want. Perhaps your current situation is unwanted by you but you persist to tolerate it due to some beliefs that you might have. The most classic example is – working a job that you dislike.

However, it is not all black and white. Because our circumstances reflect our beliefs. It doesn’t have to be that you dislike your job in particular, perhaps you hate a certain aspect of it that you’re not willing to deal with. Perhaps you have that someone at work that “makes” you feel a certain way, an authority, a certain restriction. It doesn’t have to be the work itself, although it could be all of those things at once. So be attentive to your comfort. Writing things down always helped me to be precise and clear about my current state of being. Writing things down slows your speeding locomotive of thoughts. When you write things down you have a clearer and better opportunity to identify what makes you uncomfortable.

While being uncomfortable we sometimes want to change ourselves or the circumstance. Want to change our mood, physical appearance, or that someone that is “making” us uncomfortable. If you want to change something understand that what is “making” you uncomfortable is not the circumstance it is your thoughts that you trust blindly.

For example, if you criticise yourself that you’re not in shape, that thought makes you uncomfortable because that thought like any other negative thought doesn’t feel good.

Any thought that says that you’re not who you want to be right now is simply not true. We are right now exactly who we want to be. If we wanted to be something else we would have made a choice and a change would have followed. But since we have many beliefs about who we are and what we can and can’t do, these beliefs anchor us down to who we are right now, preventing us from making changes, basically making us compromise on who we are right now, in order to satisfy what we believe in.

Regardless of the circumstances, you can be comfortable.

If you focus on what you don’t accept and what you don’t like, and what makes you feel bad, you will be uncomfortable. If your physical condition is bothering you and you’re focusing on fixing it, you will be uncomfortable.

Close your eyes, do you see your body that is bothering you, do you see that person that is bothering you, do you see the circumstance that makes you worried? -No, you can only imagine with your eyes closed, imagine things that are bothering you. Relax your imagination. Think about things that relax you and put you in comfort, instead.

With your eyes closed, you’re imagining what is bothering you in your mind, fixating your attention on thoughts that make you feel bad. Stop imagining and fixating on things that bother you, this is making you uncomfortable. If you already understand the beliefs that are making you feel bad, choose to relax and be in comfort no matter the thoughts or the circumstance.

Most people when noticing something that they dislike about themselves or the world, decide that they need to fight against it. Fighting against what is happening, is fixating our attention on fighting and criticising. Each time you notice something you dislike, try to think about it, not in terms of “I need to fight this or fix this” but in terms of “I can choose to be in comfort right now”, even when there is a side in me that wants to fight this.

Yours truly,
Boris.

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Self realization, Self awareness, mentor, speaker, blogger.

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