Determination, perseverance, persistence, motivation, willpower, hard work – these are all nice banner phrases. But do they help you change and get what you want? probably not. Words can communicate an idea which is great, but going from words to actions, actually doing something is whole a different story.
The solution lies in attitude. Depending on what attitude you have towards yourself will determine your ability or disability to go from words to actions and actually changing. So how do I know what attitude I have? Simple, notice your language of thoughts.
If you want something and you are used to thinking or saying:
“This is hard to do or to achieve, I can’t do this, this is impossible, I don’t see myself having that“. When you notice yourself thinking – “I want that, but who am I kidding I don’t know how to get that, I can’t possibly have that”. Understand that what you’re describing is your current state of being which consists of thoughts, emotions, and feelings. What’s creating your attitude is your focus on your current state of being. However, you have the power to change your attitude any time you choose to, by changing your subject of focus.
Instead of narrating your current state of being, focus your attention and your awareness on your desires and your future. Start telling yourself what you want, instead of what you have. Don’t try to figure things out from the get-go. Instead of thinking – “This is hard to do or to achieve, I can’t do this”. Say – “I want to achieve this, I will achieve this, I will do this.” Don’t worry about the how’s. When you try this you will first have an idea of how it feels to have what you want. If you succeed in feeling what you want, then the next time when you think about what you want, you can use this by saying or thinking- “I want to feel like that.” When you already know how it feels like, it makes it even easier to focus on what you want.
The new feelings will create new thoughts which in turn will encourage more positive feelings and thoughts. But, eliminating the how’s from your focus, attitude and observation might seem to you as a detachment from reality. It might seem unreal and more of like a dream. But if you remember, everything that you have started one way or another from a dream, from a thought. You’re dreaming now so you can experience the emotional and physical reality of your dream later. You’re disconnecting from the current self and creating the new self by dreaming and experiencing it with imagination and feelings.
Allowing the current you to be replaced by the new you can be challenging especially if the current you, has fears. Fears have the tendency to swallow our attention leaving no room to focus on anything else. That is okay, just remind yourself that this is the reaction of your current self, there is no point to resist this reaction, stay aware to your body’s emotional and physical experience as much as you can. This way you’ll have a better chance to know your current self, by knowing who we are will help us choose who we want to become emotionally and physically.
But sometimes imagining is hard, staying focused on what we want without thinking about our fears, the difficulties of life – makes it impossible not to think about the how’s. This is where quieting the mind is essential. Disconnecting self for a few moments from current beliefs about life and the difficulties of life will allow us to enter that imaginative state much easier. If we allow ourselves to be disconnected from the world as we know it everything that relates to the world, would also disappear including our own beliefs about the world, for that brief period of time.
Meditation is where most find their peace from the busy mind. If you lost me at meditation don’t worry it is just a word. What’s important is what that word stands for. It doesn’t stand for religion, cult or spirituality. It is simply a practice that helps quiet the mind. Just so it happens that people that use this practice are associated with spirituality because some of them go out of their way to help other people. You may call it whatever as long as you follow the principles of it. Even Google knows what is meditation:
Meditation can be defined as a practice where an individual uses a technique, such as focusing their mind on a particular object, thought or activity, to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state
So use this to your advantage. It is not hard unless you focus on the difficulties. It is not challenging unless you focus on the obstacles. It is not impossible unless you focus on your fears. This is all it takes to make it.