Many times when we find ourselves, thinking, feeling, experiencing things that we don’t feel good about, our initial instinct is to stop whatever we’re experiencing. However, the attempt itself to stop feeling what you’re feeling will be experienced as a bad feeling.
Instead of stopping just keep going, but also try to identify your experience as a passing, learning experience, an experience of your current state of emotions and feelings. Remind yourself that this is what you feel, in this passing moment in time and you don’t control this. Don’t try to stop yourself from being who you are right now. By stopping you are resisting your own existence, shortening your life, because existence is an experience.
Life is meant to be experienced by you with your emotions and feelings. We are very skillful at recognizing what feelings we don’t like and react automatically by resisting, ignoring, and suppressing every bad feeling. We think that this is the only choice we have, therefore this behavior becomes deeply embedded in our way of life.
Instead of resisting, ignoring and suppressing, don’t stop feeling what you’re feeling, keep going, but as you keep going take a more compassionate approach towards yourself and to what you’re feeling. See yourself as you would see a child struggle to deal with his sadness.
Nobody taught us how to react to sadness. Most of us were taught to suppress our feelings. They said to us “Don’t cry”, “Don’t be a baby”, “Don’t act like a girl”, “Be a man”, “Stop this immediately”. The society that raised us demanded from us to stop seeing, experiencing and expressing our feelings and emotions. So we tried. We tried, but the only way we knew how to stop is by suppressing, ignoring, and resisting our own feelings and emotions.
When we try to stop, we stop the natural flow of our lives. We stop growing our hearts, our love, moreover we demand from ourselves to do something impossible and we judge ourselves for failing and being the way we are. We stop ourselves from evolving emotionally. We set limits to what we can and can’t experience. It is totally fine to live life this way, but usually, it involves a lot of suffering.
If you want to change that, it is time to let your life flow. Let it take you on a journey to your emotional freedom. Emotional freedom doesn’t mean freedom from feeling emotions. It means a freedom to experience all emotions with grace, peace, and love. Once you have that, there wouldn’t be a single thing in life that can stop you. You will be able to live life to the fullest without fears and limitations because everything that will come your way will be welcomed with your inner peace, your heart, understanding, and compassion to yourself first.
So how can we keep going when we want to stop our unpleasant feelings, thoughts, and emotions?
Become a humanitarian to yourself, become the parent that you never had, the Nourisher. Understand that no one could have guessed or can guess your emotional needs, even the best of parents sometimes can’t find the right approach to help their children. Everyone has their own emotional past and past experiences on which they rely when they trying to help others. Other’s emotional experience is not your emotional experience. It’s time to direct your attention inwards when you seek to help yourself because only you know how you feel. Only you can allow yourself to keep going and cease to persist in stopping your emotional flow. If you treat your feelings and emotions in a loving way, no matter what they are – anger, frustration, hate, sadness – all sorts of suffering, if you insist on seeing the human in you, you will keep going, and every emotional experience eventually will become a loved one.
Practice this until you don’t stop anymore.