Are you playing a role? How can you tell if you are? Did you ever have a feeling that who you are right now is not who you really are? Most of us pretend for the sake of pleasing, impressing others or believing in something that puts us in a particular role. Some of us don’t even take breaks from the roles we’re playing. Sometimes the role makes us suffer and while we recognize the suffering we endure it. The belief that we must endure everything in favor of the part that we are playing is preventing us from returning to ourselves.
So how can you tell if you’re playing a role?
If you notice yourself doing, thinking or saying anything that makes you feel bad, you’re playing some sort of a role, forcing yourself to be who you’re not. For me, it was when I neglected myself and compromised in favor of others. It is not obvious to wake up and discover that we are not who we really are. With time the role that we’re playing overtakes the self, the character we’re playing becomes permanent. Much like a kid that is lying and although he understands that he was caught lying, he will do anything from admitting his own lie to a point that he enters a role where he is convinced in the truthfulness of the lie he is telling. Kids do it because they are scared of being punished. Adults also do it because they are scared. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a good enough reason to force yourself into doing something that doesn’t feel good to you.
What makes us stay in the role that we’re playing is our beliefs and fears. It is enough to be convinced about something, to live in inconvenience and in suffering. The mind is very powerful in making us do what we don’t want to do, just because we believe that we should.
As times goes by we become convinced more and more in the role we’re playing, to a point that the role becomes our personality.
- If you think that you’re a spontaneous person just because you agree to each of your friend’s requests while not feeling like it, you’re playing a role.
- If you think that you are a loving person, but you’re incapable of loving yourself, you’re playing a role.
- If you think that you are generous but when it comes to treating yourself you can’t, you’re playing a role.
- If you think that you are courageous, but when it comes to your inner world you refuse to take a look, you’re playing a role.
- If you think that you’re responsible while you always find someone to blame, you’re playing a role.
- If you think that you’re honest but you can’t seem to admit things to yourself, you’re playing a role.
- If you think that you’re considering but when it comes to finding the answers you want, you don’t stop no matter the cost, you’re playing a role.
- If you think that you want to help people but you don’t take the time to be with yourself to help yourself, you’re playing a role.
You may find glimpses of clues here and there that may hint to you that you’re playing a role. But no matter what you find, and awaken to, as long as you find comfort in the role that you’re playing, you won’t move an inch. You see, it is not enough to see yourself, you need to be honest with yourself and admit your role-playing inconvenience to yourself. Because whatever the role is, it is inconvenient, it is a burden of some sort. The sooner you insist on noticing the burden caused by the role you’re playing, the sooner you’ll look for a way to free yourself from that burden that is limiting your emotional freedom in your life.