Why are we bothered?

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Is something bothering you? What is bothering you? Are things not to your liking? Are you disappointed by something?

If you are bothered by something that means you feel threatened by it. I know that’s a bold statement, and you might be bothered by it, but try to stay with me as I break it down.

We are bothered because we cling our happiness on something that is outside of us, you might have expectations of something or someone to make you feel good and even happy. If that something or someone doesn’t meet your expectations, that might bother you, irritate you and even make you angry. Realize that you are bothered by your own beliefs about how things should be and not by the circumstances around you.

Each time we are bothered by something we think that, that something is preventing us from getting what we want – even the basic of things such as silence that can be disturbed by a crying baby and comprehended by our mind as a threat to our much-needed peace of mind and calmness which we believe must be accompanied by silence. Sure a crying baby is not a threat, but it becomes one once he triggers some of our beliefs, it becomes a symbol that represents an obstacle that is on our way of getting what we want.

Another example  – You might find yourself bothered by something that someone said in a conversation you’re having.  Again the same principle applies here. What was said triggered an emotion that is rooted in a strong belief in your mind. As a result of what was said, your well-being was threatened. Once your belief is being questioned by someone important to you, that someone becomes a threat to your stability believing in what you believe. Say you believe that you are good and then your dad comes along and says that you are bad. Your well being is threatened by your father, and because he is important to you, you would do anything to change his mind. The same goes for every kind of interaction and relationship.

Sometimes people behave irrationally and it might seem unexplainable to the outside observer. But realize that we are all driven by the same thing – emotions. There is no reason for us to behave in a threatened way unless we believe that we are threatened. Our beliefs are like seeds that were planted by us as a result of encountering various people and circumstances in life. Those seeds grew very thick stems and deep roots and provided a mental support for us as we lived our lives.

Those beliefs served a purpose in creating various types of experiences in your life. Today, as you’re waking up to your beliefs and emotions that trigger them, don’t hurry to dismiss and banish your old beliefs and emotions, because they are a part of you. They supported your existence, whatever it was. Yes, it will take time to unroot some of them but that is only because they flourished into a beautiful tree that provided you the support you needed.

Don’t be alarmed or bothered by our own emotions and beliefs, instead take this opportunity to be thankful for being able to notice whatever you’re feeling and believing. Treat your bothering experiences as a reminder of what was once your indisputable pillar of support in life.

Yours truly,
Boris

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Self realization, Self awareness, mentor, speaker, blogger.

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