Fear of trying comes from being afraid to make a mistake, to fail. When you make a mistake how does it feel? Our fear of making a mistake is directly connected to our worth, and how others see us. Therefore we would do anything to avoid making a mistake, to avoid feeling not good enough, unworthy. Because we believe that our actions determine our worth. We believe that others will judge the results of our actions and will determine our worth. As a result, we judge ourselves for the mistakes we make.
What is a mistake?
I think of it as a – Missed Take (mistake). Like a scene-take, they do when shooting a movie scene. Sure the director might lose it a bit when actors are failing to nail a scene but if you think about the actors, they have nothing to lose. They are already in the movie they want to play in, they are already getting paid for the roles they are playing, they are already doing what they love to do. So if they fail one or ten or one hundred takes, it doesn’t really change anything, they only learn more about the current take and receive more guidance to sharpen their performance, until they nail it.
We are the actors of our lives, the mistakes (missed takes) we make are simply our attempts at playing a scene. Whether these attempts succeed or fail it is not for us to decide, life will show us the results of our attempts when we try to play a scene. If we take to heart every attempt that we didn’t like the result of, it will only make it harder for us, it will affect us, it will change us, it will change the actor that is having fun doing what they love to do.
There is no limit in life for the number of tries that you’re allowed to take. Our tries and attempts are unlimited. What eventually breaks us is not the quality or the number of tries that we take, it is our lack of compassion for ourselves for the results of these tries. How can one even begin to give a hard time to themselves knowing that there is always the next time, the next thing, there is always something to anticipate, to be excited about, that next time when we will try to do something we love. Knowing that there is no limit except the one we can create for ourselves – But why would we want to do that?