Personal Growth

I Blame Myself

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You cannot force yourself to feel. Feelings are already present in you, some of us can feel their emotions more than others. If you think that you can’t feel emotions, it’s not true, you are simply unable to become aware to what you feel because you are heavily invested in other things that take away your attention from your emotions. It is important to understand that we have no control over how we feel. We don’t decide to feel one way or the other, we also don’t decide to feel in a particular way on purpose and yet, many people blame and judge themselves and others for how they feel.

How can you blame yourself for something that you didn’t do on purpose? One of the first things you teach a child that hurt someone by mistake is to ask for forgiveness and say that it wasn’t on purpose. If you’re suffering from your feelings and blaming yourself or someone else for it, please stop, ask forgiveness from yourself right now for ever blaming or judging yourself or someone else for the way you feel.

Every time that we are trying to improve our moods and feelings, we are taking a leap of faith to feel better. However, expressing an intention to feel better and continuing being focused on the absence of the good feelings, only keeps us in our current unsatisfying emotional state. On the other hand focusing on the positive, while being upset might help temporarily but won’t last, because of the unresolved feelings, thoughts, and emotions remain unresolved, till the next time we stumble upon them.

We need to understand that since we have no control over the way we feel, we are not accountable for our feelings, we have no right to demand from ourselves to be responsible for our feelings in every passing moment. With that being said, we do have the power to create an intention to feel better and act on it, this doesn’t necessarily mean that our feelings will change in an instant, all it means is that we are open to a possibility to feel better.

This is what leap of faith is all about, being open to change. Most people think in their minds that they are open to change, while emotionally, and physically they are not willing to divert their attention from their suffering. In other words, if you find yourself struggling focusing only on what feels bad realize that you are not willing to forgive yourself having the experience that you’re having right now.

Somehow you see yourself or others responsible and accountable over what you feel and as a result, you are trying to fix everything that doesn’t feel good. Even when you understand that there are things that can’t be fixed, you continue to focus on them finding yourself stuck fighting something that you don’t have the power to change – feeling helpless.

So how can you let go of the things that you cannot change, that make you feel bad?

Understand that the things that you cannot change, that bother you are simply triggering an emotion inside of you, over which you don’t have any control. You’re are not accountable for your emotions. You are not responsible for them. Forgive yourself for thinking that you are. We can only let go by forgiving ourselves for the way we feel.

We don’t decide whether a circumstance that has already happened, is allowed to exist. It doesn’t need our permission or forgiveness to exist, simply because it has already happened. We can only decide whether we allow ourselves to exist peacefully by forgiving ourselves thinking that we are responsible for the way we feel.

Yours truly,

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