Starting over

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strarting-over

If you ignore yourself right now and only see the things that are missing in your life, you will always find yourself restless, seeking, never settling down, never completely satisfied, never really enjoying what you have, never enjoying the moment.

You have to see yourself first. Really see yourself as you are. Most of us refuse to see ourselves. Perhaps we’re ashamed of ourselves. Perhaps we see ourselves not as good enough, unworthy. We do many things to hide our real selves from ourselves. Because that the truth reminds us of something that we don’t want to see. It reminds us of our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. It reminds us of what others think about us.

This way we find ourselves trapped by our own mind. Trapped in this cycle of trying to satisfy and calm down our minds by running away from fears that we have. We believe that by running away from what we fear we can find rest and peace.

But let me ask you something. How can you rest if you’re constantly running? Sure you prevent yourself from being afraid, but you find yourself constantly running exhausting yourself emotionally, mentally and physically.

In order to help yourself, you need to see yourself first, and this is not hard. You are already here in front of yourself. See your real self as who you are, right now. The fearful one, the worried one, the suffering one, the seeking one, the restless one, the running one. See all of yourself. All your selves. Just look without doing anything.

At first, you might think that this is depressing because the things that you find make you feel even worse. But understand if you agree to see yourself and the way you feel, you’ll have a real chance to see all the responsibilities and the tasks that you’ve assigned for yourself, in order to feel better. Every time you feel discomfort, you comfort yourself, make a list and write down how you react to your discomforting moments and what you do to make yourself feel better. Whenever you’re worried, disturbed restless, what are you doing? what are you thinking about? what are you eating? what are your habits and patterns, make that list.

After you’re done, understand that every item on that list, is unnecessary for your survival, every response you’ve written is a reaction by choice. Now imagine not having to do anything from that list. This is possible. This is how you were initially. Before you’ve developed all your fears, beliefs and worries. You can start over and you don’t need to fix anything.

– Starting over is hard.

Why do we think that starting over is hard? Because we want something that we cannot get right now.  We see something that we want and we understand that we need to go through a certain path to have what we want and this is hard for us.

We refuse to accept our current condition, our circumstance in life, our finance, our social status, we refuse to see things as they are. We always see ourselves in motion, evolving, mostly we see our future selves, never stopping to see who we are right now, where we are right now, what we have right now.

When we look at our future selves and compare them to our current selves we conclude that what we want is too hard to achieve, and most of us quit. Looking at this gap between now and the future is like looking into the abyss, looking at uncertainty. When we’re uncertain we usually play it safe and back off to our safety which is perfectly fine. Meanwhile in the back of our minds,  not letting go of the gap, that represents everything that we want in life.

If you keep focusing on the gap, you’ll find yourself living in this gap, on the one hand never appreciating what you have right now and on the other hand never believing in yourself and what you can accomplish in the future. If you find yourself fearing this gap just ignore it altogether. Stop telling stories about it, after all this gap is only in your imagination. Don’t worry about not making it yet, you’ll get there eventually, but first, make yourself feel better right now, as much as you can. Here is how.

Start from what you do have.

For some reason, not all the things that we have right now are important to us. We take most things for granted. We think that what we’re going to have is more important then what we already have. What we don’t understand is that this way we can never find peace and be happy. This way we can never find love, this way we can never find rest, this way we can never be grateful because gratitude, rest, love, and peace all exist right now, in our current moment, you can only feel them right now.

Even when you imagine things about your future you feel how they feel in your body right now. Choose your thoughts, memories, and imaginations, choose to focus on what you have and what can make you feel better right now, and now, and now, until all of your nows comprised of good feelings. This is where you wake up to the notion that you don’t need to be anywhere that will make you feel good. You stop being depended on your future-self having this or that, you already feel great, sure it would be even more awesome to have what you want in the future, at this point thinking about it feels good and inspiring, the gap becomes non-existent. Everything that you do evolves from feeling great and being inspired by what feels good.

So, if you want to rise and feel good, rise right now, don’t wait, rise to see the rising sun in the morning. If you want to rest, rest right now, don’t wait, rest with the sunset in the evening. Find what you can do right now to appreciate what you have right now. If you do that you’ll rediscover, that you can rest, love, and be at peace without waiting for anything.

Yours truly
Boris.

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Self realization, Self awareness, mentor, speaker, blogger.

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