Personal Growth

I Don’t Know

Hello friends and good morning as I’m sitting here in front of the sunrise trying to center myself back into peace, trying to disconnect myself from the daily distortions a quick realization comes to mind, that Nothing Stops. Life doesn’t stop, your circumstance doesn’t stop. Reality doesn’t just stop and becomes something else in an instant. Perhaps in some cases, it does but generally speaking it doesn’t, and it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It isn’t something that we need to suffer about, feel angry about, it isn’t something that we need to agonize about because we cannot change it.

Physical stuff is less malleable to change, less flexible to change it plays its purpose being less malleable, less flexible it is its purpose of being physical. Our bodies are physical it takes time for our bodies to change, it takes time for circumstance to change around us, it doesn’t mean that we need to suffer about it in our minds or throughs our emotions.

Our minds and emotions can find peace regardless of circumstance regardless of our bodies. Reality doesn’t need to stop, our attempts at denying reality need to stop. Our trying needs to be converted into allowing, not allowing everything to be as it is but allowing yourself to be, to feel good, regardless of everything, regardless of circumstance. Allow yourself to be regardless of everything that you know, make this your preference to be regardless, let it be your number one priority to be regardless of everything.

I’m not talking about being, in terms of surviving or breathing  – these things you take for granted. I’m talking about truly being in peace. Being in peace of mind, in emotional peace.

See this simple fact that you are already being and that you don’t need to try to be. You are given this opportunity of being right now without effort. You are given this being without conditions. You don’t have responsibilities towards being. There is no trying in being. Allow yourself to relax into your state of being. Don’t try to find peace. Peace is always there. Peace is waiting for you to discover it. When you focus on yourself being as you are, let this state overflow you, allow it to overflow you. Relinquish your persistence on trying. Let go of trying to change something. Thinking that you need something, to do something to be somewhere to achieve something. Just for a minute allow yourself to be overflown by your state of being without any need.

You can give yourself this piece of mind, this moment of rest, you can discover it, you can rediscover how it feels, you can remember how it feels, you can reunite with this state of being. All you need is to allow yourself, to give yourself permission, stop trying just allow. There is no trying in allowing there is no doing in allowing. It is an inner release of self from any obligations to your mind.

Allowing is effortless, it is easy. If you find it hard to allow yourself to stop trying or letting go from having any obligations or responsibilities at this moment then just allow yourself to know that you don’t know how to allow yourself to be as you are.

Allow yourself to surrender into the unknown. Surrender into not knowing how to allow. You can do this just by simply stating to yourself – “I don’t know how to allow myself to be“.

When you say that, try to notice how it feels. How it really feels. Are you seeking to do something when you say “I don’t know how to allow myself to be“? Are you looking to fix something when you say – “I don’t know how to allow myself to be“? Are you seeking to change something when you say – “I don’t know how to allow myself to be“?

Are you – trying, seeking, needing, wanting to do something when you say – “I don’t know how to allow myself to be“?

If you do, surrender into these three words – “I don’t know“. Allow these words in. There is nothing wrong in not knowing. Children don’t know. Innocence doesn’t know. There is nothing wrong in being innocent. Children are innocent. Innocence is pure and free. Don’t you want to be free? Allow yourself to receive these words. Allow yourself to hear these words. To let them in. “I don’t know how to allow myself to be” if this is hard for you then say “I don’t know how to allow myself to be innocent once again“, “I don’t know how to allow these words in“. With any resistance, you may find just state to yourself –  “I don’t know how to ______” and fill in the blank. “I don’t know how to allow this resistance that I have“. Allowing is surrendering.

Most of us believe that surrendering is something bad because when we usually surrender that means that we’ve lost. We are accustomed to thinking that losing is bad perhaps because if we lose it means to us that somebody else has won, somebody else defeated us. We are used to thinking this way because we place ourselves into a competition, not necessarily a direct competition with someone but more of a general competition, with our thoughts with our achievements with our goals. We don’t allow ourselves to say these three words – “I don’t know”. These three words lead to surrendering and perhaps failing.

Most of us will do anything to ignore saying these words. Will do anything to prevent them from happening in our minds. But if you imagine that there is no competition, imagine that you don’t have to win, imagine that you just want to be. Let yourself imagine that, allow yourself to imagine that.

Competition is not an actual thing it is an idea. It is an agreement. You don’t have to follow this agreement. Your worthiness is not defined by competition. Your worthiness is not defined by the results of participating in a competition. Your worthiness is not defined by the idea of winning or losing, it is just an idea. What others think about winning or losing is also an idea in their heads. You’re not affected by ideas, you’re not ruled or controlled by them. Realize this. Allow yourself to not know.

There is peace in not knowing. There is freedom. It is not ignorance. A child that doesn’t know is not ignorant. He or she is pure from knowing, from believing that something is wrong, from believing that being a certain way is wrong. Children are pure from thinking this way. Whatever belief you might have about being unworthy or being wrong, realize that you believe in an idea. Not a physical one. You believe in an agreement, you just decided for yourself that this agreement is important to you, like many others did. You just decided that what others think is important to you. You’re not defined by ideas thoughts, beliefs, achievements, goals, you have no definition. Being pure is being without definition, being innocent is being without definitions, it is just being.

Find your resistance. Find the very surface of your resistance, not the bottom but the surface. The surface is very distinguishable it is very observable, noticeable. Find the very thin surface of your resistance the very first layer of it. On top of this surface state to yourself – “I don’t know how to release this resistance“. Allow yourself to not know how to release your resistance

State to yourself that “I don’t know how to allow this resistance”. You can always find something that you’re resisting to. You can always find something you’re resisting and allow it to be by saying – “I don’t know“. “I don’t know how to allow this resistance“. “I don’t know how to surrender to it”.

Be innocent, become pure, become what you always have been by knowing that not knowing is innocence, it is the kid in you.

Yours truly,

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