Are you happy? What is happiness for you? Happiness has many interpretations. You might be happy with your job, relationships, finance, health, mood, etc. It could be one or the other. You can’t really measure happiness. Some will look at their current circumstance to asses their happiness and some will look at their past achievements to do the same. In both cases, an attempt is made to asses something and come to a conclusion about happiness.
You can be a healthy, wealthy person with a career and a loving family, and still, find yourself unpleased, restless, worried, unhappy in the current moment. But when you’ll be asked about being happy or not, you might answer- sure I’m happy I have all I ever wanted.
But what about now? Are you happy right now? Can you sincerely say that you’re happy right now? For example, if all you ever did your whole life is chasing or working towards some achievement, wealth or health, did you notice if you were happy during that time? if you were, then you can confidently say that each and every moment in your life was a happy moment.
Life is nothing but a collection of moments. Each happy moment counts. You can say that happiness is the collection of happy moments. One person can count his happy moments on one hand, while the other will need a lifetime to count those moments because he or she is striving to be happy in every moment.
A person that makes his number one priority to be happy is doing so in every passing moment and not postponing happiness to when he or she is retired or has the things that they believe can make them happy.
There is no formula to happiness, and if you spend your life being unhappy it doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy in the future or even right now. Each and every passing moment can bring change, and you can summon that change by first allowing the possibility to feel better and be happier, to exist. You can’t just fake it by saying – “Yeah alright I want to be happy so I allow this possibility to exist“. Saying mantras that you don’t believe in or don’t relate to or question their authenticity, don’t work.
You can’t allow something to enter your life while feeling skeptic about its existence. You will immediately know and feel that you are fooling yourself. It is like forcing yourself to do what you don’t like and saying that you want to do it.
But what can we do to be happier right now?
We can make ourselves happier simply by understanding the reasons that tell us that we cannot be happy. Ask yourself – “What is keeping me from being happy right now?” Your mind will immediately reveal to you what you believe is missing or preventing you from being happy right now. Then ask yourself – “Why do I believe that this is true?” “From where or whom I learn this truth?” Keep investigating the obstacles to your happiness that you believe in and discover their origin. Here are some examples to the things you may come up with – “I need more money before I can be happy”, “I want someone to love me before I can be happy”, “I’m waiting for something to happen so I can be happy”.
Realize that with whatever reason you came up to your unhappiness it is not the reason that is keeping your happiness from you, it is you believing that, that reason it is true.
The truth is that we don’t need a reason to be happy, we create and focus on reasons and conditions that keep us from being happy.
Whatever condition you set to your happiness is the one that will keep you from being happy not because it is true, but because you chose to believe that it is true.
It might sound like I’m repeating myself but let the last three sentences really sink in.
Ask yourself – “How would I feel if I won’t set any conditions, requirements or obligations for myself ?” Take a moment to breathe without the need to comply with any condition you have already set for yourself. Imagine that you have the permission to do that. Can you allow yourself to do that? Do it. Try to notice the experience of being without conditions, notice that you are being without conditions.
All skepticism comes from invalid conditions and beliefs you acquired during your life will disappear when you allow yourself to choose not to comply with these conditions. Choosing not to comply is simple after you’ve done your investigation and have seen the irrelevance of these conditions.
No matter where life takes you, no matter the circumstance you find yourself in, you can always pinpoint that condition that stands between you and your happiness. Even when you think that you can’t run away from your thoughts and feelings that are making you feel bad. Thoughts and feelings are just a part of the circumstance that you focus on and believe that you must escape in order to be happy.
Instead of trying to escape, realize that escaping is just another condition you set for yourself, a condition to which you don’t have to comply in order to be happy. Don’t worry you won’t be stuck feeling what you feel forever, remember that every passing moment brings change with it. “Change is the only constant (- Heraclitus)”. Take your mind of the conditions that you’ve set, to see that everything has already changed.