In the process of awakening to the true self, many times I found myself convincing myself that I’m not my true self and I need to get back to being my true self.
But who am I convincing?
If you are busy convincing the image that you created about yourself, that image is very complex. It has many pieces and it is enough for one piece not to align with the other pieces for the entire image to collapse and reject your argument or convincing.
Convincing the ego that you’re not the ego, convincing the personality that you’re not the personality won’t resolve in awakening to your true self because all you do is trying to fix a perception about who you are a perception that you’ve created about yourself. You’re just adding layers, stacking newer bricks on older ones. The older bricks are not going anywhere they are still seen very clearly. And the moment you see them It will seem that you’re back being the ego or the personality.
We spend a lot of time figuring out things that trouble us and make us suffer. The older we get the more beliefs we have, the longer time it will take to figure things out to align everything so it fits logically so we can rest. But even when we do that there are new things coming up constantly that also require our logical understanding and alignment with the previous things. You can quickly see that this process is endless and tiring.
We are used to solving and fixing stuff, we are target driven beings. It is hard for us not to be. We care about our personality even in the awakening stages from it. This what makes it harder for us to let go of it, to awaken beyond it. If you care about something your attention will be automatically diverted towards that thing.
You see, you don’t need to choose what’s more important to you, your personality or the awakening or discovering the self beyond your personality. Diverting your attention to being awakened won’t erase your personality. All it will do is allow you to see your created personality more clearly.
Your ego or personality doesn’t require fixing or convincing. It is already a perfectly created creation. Seeing things as flawed – is disagreeing with what is already there. It is pointless. Did you come to this realization yet? If you didn’t I suggest reading the post- Perfect or any other post about beliefs.
Awakening is effortless if you allow it to be. You just need to allow it to happen. Fall into it. You don’t need to change, you don’t need to be different. You don’t need to convince yourself to be different. If you care too much about being different, it will consume all of your time to become different. Remember that change is instant. When things change they do so in an instant. Awakening is also like that, it is instant. Relax your attention from needing to be different, from things to be different. And see what happens, discover the resting place inside yourself that is you.