The repeated suffering is here only to remind you about your deepest wounds.
The deepest wounds are here only to awaken you to your ability to withstand pain.
Your increasing ability to withstand pain is here only to remind you about the time passed bearing the pain of your deepest wounds.
The time passed bearing the pain of your deepest wounds is here only to remind you about the sacrifice you’ve made putting yourself second by ignoring the triggers for your pain.
The triggers for your pain are here only to help you to return to yourself, to love yourself as you always did.
You may ask – How can I return to feeling good when I’m constantly bombarded by triggers that make me feel bad?
– Well, behind every bad feeling, lies fear. It may not be visible for you to see but it is there, otherwise, you wouldn’t have a reason to feel bad. The thing is that subconsciously we choose to believe that the fear is real every time we’re triggered emotionally. Believing that the fear is real makes it harder for us to understand the fear and its origin (also known as beliefs), and eventually let it go by letting the fear be. It is also completely understood why we fall victims to fear. We physically feel it in our bodies similar to a fear touching a flame.
However, while we can avoid touching flames to a certain extent and eliminate the fear of getting hurt, we can’t avoid being emotionally triggered. So the only real option that is left is to deal with emotional fear by trying to understand it. However, that doesn’t always work also. I found myself many times understanding the reasoning behind my emotional fears and still found myself being triggered and couldn’t help myself from being afraid.
Because you see apparently dealing with fear is a two-step process, at least for me it is.
Step One – Realization and awakening to false beliefs :
See the false beliefs that are being triggered by fear. They don’t threaten your existence or safety, because they are false.
Step Two – Love :
Substitute your reaction to fear with love.
We get used reacting to triggers in a fixed pattern. Usually, it means that we’re just fixating on fear and everything that leads to it, so we need to break that pattern by genuinely turning our attention to something else that is more important to us than fear.
But what could be more important than fear?
This is where the whole love yourself part comes into play. You see if you’re not in any immediate danger and you understand the true reasons for your triggers, there is a window for you to return to yourself. But every time we fear we just choose to ignore that window. Why? Because we adapted to withstand the emotional pain that our triggers cause us. Why we did that is a whole different topic. But the fact remains that we did, and by doing so we subconsciously engraved into our minds that something else is more important than us and that we don’t matter as much as that something.
When you begin to practice this, choosing yourself over your fear, you divert your attention to being with yourself at that moment instead of being fixated on fear. And now no matter how important the reasonings to your fear are, in the end, they are nothing more than words that go around the issue of your suffering, keeping you focused on what disturbs you.
While mentally understanding what disturbs us may bring some relief, but when it comes to being triggered “live”, no reasoning can overpower strong emotions and fear. That is why it is important to practice choosing yourself over your fear no matter what.
If you find it hard to divert your attention from fear to yourself when you’re triggered, this might help – Ask yourself – Is this fear really worth my attention? Wouldn’t it be more beneficial for me to focus on relaxing instead of thinking about what scares me and why? Because I already know all the reasons that lead to this fear and it seems like a waste of my time going over them again.
You can use any words to remind yourself to be with yourself in order to break the pattern of staying fixated on fear. The main thing to take from this is that – when you’re triggered it is the time to embrace and love yourself as much as you possibly can because you are the only one that can choose to do so over fear.
Remember this works when you’ve got your triggers figured out otherwise you might find yourself falling back into mental traps of thought that point back to your emotional fear. Once you have figured out your triggers, then all that remains is breaking the pattern and returning to yourself, by holding your own hand while witnessing the dissolvement of the emotional fireworks.