Health Personal Growth

How to change

How do some people change while others struggle to change? What is the secret? Why it is so hard to follow through with the choices that we make to change? What can we do to make change real?

Your experience is not determined by the description of what happens. It is determined by how you feel when something happens.

Same words have different meanings to people because we interpret everything by past emotional experience and each person’s experiences are different. Some may think about death as something dreadful while others will celebrate it because they believe in reincarnation.

So here I am, trying to pique up your interest, by promising you that you can change your life for the best. But, in order for you to be convinced, what I tell you must match your beliefs or at least needs to be deductible or supported by your beliefs, or can be felt by you emotionally.

But then again if I tell you something that you already believe in, it wouldn’t be groundbreaking or life-changing. And if I tell you something that is against what you believe in chances are that you’d become uninterested and ignore me completely.

Human nature is arrogant when it comes to being right. The moment we’re convinced in our truth pretty much nothing can move us from it. We will argue to prove our points of view and defend our beliefs.

So is there a point really talking about change? because as it seems, it is unlikely for us to change simply by talking about it. As we’re holding tight to our beliefs and points of view about what is right or wrong, these are dictating the decisions we make and the actions we take, that eventually brings us to experience the life we live.

You see there is no reason for me to convince you by describing you something that I believe in or by telling you a moral story. This will change probably nothing as you go back to your regular life after reading this post. However with that being said, sometimes words have an emotional impact, you encounter this when something motivates you momentarily by reading something or seeing something inspiring. But for most, that emotional boost fades quickly when we return to seeing the world the way we’re used to seeing it, via the same old thoughts and beliefs.

With that being said, not all is lost. The most viable way for us to change is to prove to ourselves that we can. By experiencing first hand that change is possible. When you are present with all of your senses participating and experiencing what is happening, you are instantly persuaded in the truth of the experience. You can read more about learning directly from experience from the previous post- what about now?

And guess what proving yourself that you can change your life is pretty easy once you understand that all you have to do is to focus on what is right now and what is your next move.

For example, choosing to eat only healthy food. This immediately may result in giving up on the whole idea, dooming it as unattainable because you don’t see yourself right now being able to achieve the end result. However, if you focus on the now, giving yourself some slack, and take a step by step approach, not fixating on getting where you want to be, but fixating on what you can do right now, you will see yourself making more decisions eating healthy food as time goes by.

The same goes for getting in shape. Take the first step by setting the alarm clock, even if you don’t get up in the morning, you are now witnessing yourself taking action towards your goal and that is empowering. If you find yourself not being able to get up in the morning, after all, consider watching Mel Robbins – 5 Second Rule on youtube to get you started.
(Youtube –  Mel Robbins: 5 Second Rule )

And finally, when you want to heal emotionally or seeking to change your inner experience, you don’t need to look very far. Be with yourself, be with your body, encouraging yourself to heal your emotional wounds by giving attention to yourself and what hurts without judging. Start noticing your unwanted patterns of thought and behavior right now and choose to hold your own hand instead of perpetuating additional destructive thoughts and actions. Prove to yourself that you can change by changing right now. By doing what you can do right now and not even thinking about what you can’t do because it is irrelevant. In the end, nothing beats the direct experience when it comes to changing yourself and your life.

Yours truly,
Boris.



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