When you look in the mirror it is pretty obvious and predictable what you see. You see yourself from the outside. We also have a similar sensation of knowing ourselves on the inside. If we close our eyes we know our thoughts, desires, fears, etc. And we think to ourselves that – “This is me”. I look like this and I think like that, and I need this, want that.
Everybody thinks to themselves – I know the person that I am, I know myself better than anyone else, you can’t tell me something about myself that I don’t already know.
Well, I’m here to tell you that the majority of people don’t know themselves completely. In fact, they spend most of their lives refusing to get to know themselves, and here is why.
We go about our daily lives thinking the same thoughts in our heads, expressing what we want repeatedly, never asking ourselves why we want the things we want. But if you ask yourself why you want the things you want, you may find out the true motivating reasons for your desires. Those reasons might be – status, respect, worthiness, safety, love. Anything that you believe that you are lacking you will try to get using different means like making a career, earning a lot of money, being successful, getting married, skydiving, socializing. Eventually, you end up repeating to yourself in your mind what you want to do and forgetting why you want it.
Why we want the things we want becomes a hidden layer in our personality. The beliefs that represent our desires are not seen consciously anymore. Imagine getting used to seeing only your desires, and thinking that you know yourself only by what you want.
Then there is this thing called emotions, that makes us feel good when we get the things we want and bad when we don’t get what we want. In other words, we feel bad when we fail to support what we believe in and feel good when we succeed.
But we don’t think about it like this because we don’t think about our beliefs, this layer is hidden from us, remember?! And when we fail to support our beliefs we tend to sink in sadness, anxiety, depression, fear, looking for answers where there are none. There is only the thoughts about what we want and the thoughts about what we don’t have. So the only solution we come up with is to try to find out how we can distract ourselves from all of this by doing something else. Something that can replace our current emotions, with new ones. Everyone has their own medicine.
That pretty much sums up your average Joe. But there is one more thing. The outside world. Who did what to who? and why?
When you’re convinced about who you are only by knowing what you want, you enclose yourself in a bubble. Everything else that happens outside of that bubble, you call the outside world. The unfair, harsh, competitive, deceiving, cruel world in which you get hurt, unappreciated and heartbroken. How many of us asked the question – Why did this happen to me?
I’ll do my best and try to explain why.
We’re focused on getting what we want but subconsciously we also care about satisfying our beliefs of which we are unaware. So as long as things are going our way, we’re fine, right?! But the minute things go sideways it gets us by surprise. Our comfort zone disappears and emotions rise. You’re thinking to yourself, I did not ask for this. I know myself, I know what I want and this ain’t it.
The mind is looking to explain why things went sideways, looking for cause and who is responsible. We look hard with our minds while the answer is right there.
Let me break this down. Let’s say you find yourself in some circumstance that triggers an unpleasant emotional response in your body because things didn’t go the way you expected. If what makes you is what you want then you refuse to be a part of a circumstance that doesn’t give you what you want.
And here is the big question, If you don’t see yourself a part of the circumstance how come it has such an emotional impact on you?
In other words, If the circumstance presents something that you don’t want, why are you interested? Why do you react? Why is your body reacting emotionally?
Please read these questions a couple of times and let them sink in. Don’t try to figure out the answer just let the questions resonate freely.
The conclusion is inevitable, the circumstance is a part of you when you find yourself responding to it, and we always do. Whether you respond to it with joy or sadness, you respond, your body responds. Because you chose to expand yourself beyond your body by creating beliefs that involve circumstance. Your beliefs involve matter, people, money, status, safety, justice, honesty, love all of which are a part of circumstance. You are a part of the circumstance.
If you close your eyes and make the world disappear with your imagination you will instantly feel a sense of relief. As all circumstance disappears your mind goes to rest from protecting all your beliefs and satisfying all your wants.
Whatever you chose to believe in, your circumstance will always let you know about it. Your circumstance is always reflecting your beliefs back to you using emotional triggers.
One last thing, sometimes it may be not so obvious to us why we react emotionally the way we do to certain circumstances. It might be difficult to pinpoint a particular belief. For example, you may find your body is looking for safety, for no apparent reason, or trying to hide or is worried due to a circumstance that you’re in. If it’s not apparent why you are triggered, don’t overthink it too much, just be attentive to yourself and your environment, there is absolutely no need to force a conclusion by creating unnecessary beliefs. Things have a tendency of working out by themselves if you let them.