Who do you want to be? that’s a tough one. But you know for sure that you don’t want to be a nobody. You want to be somebody. But how can you decide what to be if you don’t know what you want?
We were asking ourselves these questions in our younger years when thinking about our future, career, education. Surely there was a time in your life when you needed to decide what you want to do with your life. At that moment people are split into two groups, those that know what they want to do with their lives without needing to think about it and those who don’t know what they want and need to decide.
At some point, we are being pressured by life to decide what we want on a major scale. When we get to a certain age, society expects us to become independent, provide for ourselves, and in order to do that we need to decide what we want to do with our lives. Whether we like it or not we have to come up with some kind of plan.
The most new-age advice you can get regarding this subject is – do what you love, do what makes you happy and your happiness is guaranteed even if you don’t become super successful at least you will be happy doing what you love. Following this logic we think to ourselves something along these lines – I like money, I should choose a profession with the highest income. I like sports, perhaps I’ll be a professional athlete. I like music – maybe I’ll become a musician. I like movies, I’ll be a movie star!
Sounds pretty simple, right?
Well not quite, because there is a difference between enjoying experiencing the things that you love as a participating observer and actually doing the things that you enjoy as a creator. Watching a movie and playing a role in one, is two very different experiences. But somehow we think about it as the same thing, we look at the things that we enjoy experiencing and conclude that we will also enjoy producing or creating them.
Thinking about becoming somebody might lead to a logical decision and completely wrong one at the same time. However, we will defend the choice we’ve made because we’re convinced that it makes sense.
How many times you found yourself wanting something and by the time you had it, you didn’t care about it anymore? Wouldn’t you agree if the time spent getting what you wanted, made you miserable, then you probably made a poor decision about wanting that thing in the first place?
When the effort spent exceeds the reword, we lose interest in the reward very quickly. Nevertheless, most people will stick to obligations they’ve made to themselves and others. Because we don’t want to come out as irresponsible, unreliable, nobody wants to be seen as a looser or a failure. We don’t want to break the image we’ve created of ourselves, so we sacrifice our happiness. I can’t say that it doesn’t make sense. It partially does, otherwise, we wouldn’t be where we are today, miserable at our jobs, but is it worth it? Does our happiness worth the cost of not being a nobody, or preserving an image.
Do you think that the people that truly enjoy doing what they do are in it just so they could be somebody? If you do what you love there is nothing at stake that can compromise your image because you are not doing it for the sake of image or status.
Becoming a somebody in your mind just because you think it makes sense without experiencing first hand how it is actually like being that somebody is like shooting an arrow in the dark hoping that it would land on prince charming. Know what you’re getting yourself into. Don’t count on other people’s opinions, don’t assume anything. Your life is unique, experience, feel, know yourself via experience. Do what makes you happy and not what you think will make you happy.