Often during self-discovery, we are looking to find our true selves, not really knowing what it is, but having an idea about what it should be. Often that idea tells us that the true self is not who we are right now. We reach that conclusion because we’re not satisfied with who we are, not satisfied with our lives.
So we invent an improved version of ourselves, a new personality, which we believe that will make us happy, and strive to be that personality, believing that we are not what we want, yet.
If you close your eyes and ask yourself the following question – “Where am I”. The answer might be a location. That is because we first see ourselves as our bodies and where our body is located. Our attention is focused on the body first. Then continue asking yourself – where is my attention when it is not focused on my body – where am I?
Am I in my thoughts, in my memories, in my projections of the future? Am I trying to figure something out? Am I looking to help someone or perhaps myself? Am I worried about my health or being alone? Where am I?
In each conscious moment of our lives, we can identify what we are focused on. Are we focused on disputing, not liking our thoughts that are running in our heads? Hating the conclusions we’ve made about ourselves, the opinions we have about others?
You see the self is the experience that you’re having, some spiritual people might argue that the self is beyond the experience, but as long you have a body, any experience you have including spiritual is communicated through the body via sensations. In other words, you are already the self and always has been.
If we believe that we are not enough and focus on that, it would be reflected directly in our experience. If we tend to believe in thoughts, opinions, beliefs that are condescending, judgemental, criticizing in their nature that will only show how unaccepting we are of ourselves and others. Focusing on the things that we disapprove of is what makes the experience that we are having unpleasant.
Enlightenment is the shedding of the light and awakening to your self that disapproves, criticizes, judges. We only engage in unpleasant thoughts to protect ourselves because we come to believe that evil exists. But if you trace evil you will find out that people who wronged other people, were wronged themselves and instead of seeing that those who hurt them were also hurt, they chose to believe in the existence of evil.
You eventually experience the consequences of what you chose to spend your time with. If you spend your time thinking about how you want to be elsewhere because you don’t like yourself and your thoughts, understand that it is only because you agree with your thoughts. The truth is that whoever hurt you or caused you to believe what you believe did that only because they were convinced in their truth just like you are right now convinced in your truth. We are all victims of believing that we are the victims of our lives. It’s time to wake up from that.
Once you start waking up, your experience will start to change, you will feel an enormous relief, that will take you to experience the self that believes only in good, in love, in kindness.
You will come to understand that life you’ve lived was all a series of choices you agreed to, and when you thought you had no choice, that was only because you perceived yourself as a victim of the circumstance.
Sometimes it seems that we are not the choosers of the thoughts that pop up in our head. But we are the ones that choose to agree or disagree with every thought. So if you find yourself agreeing with something that doesn’t feel good, it might be a good time to awaken to the reason why you keep doing that. Only you can free yourself from unwanted experiences, by waking up and seeing the bigger picture.