There is nothing more that makes me happy than coming up with an idea to write about something that can help someone. Whether that idea is life changing or just comforting doesn’t really matter. What matters is the sole purpose I have in mind, which is bringing someone to some sort of relief or comfort. Telling you that it ain’t all that bad and life will make you smile again, you will see.
So here are 5 tips that you can apply in no particular order, that might help you or remind you that the sun will shine again and you will feel its warmth on your face even on a cold winter day.
How you see yourself
Taking responsibility for your life. I’m not talking about being responsible in a traditional meaning of the word which is creating an image of yourself that you present to the world for other people to see you as a responsible person.
I’m talking about you being responsible for yourself alone. You hold the power of being responsible for how you address yourself and value yourself and make yourself feel. If you don’t know if you value yourself, next time you talk to yourself repeat what you have said once again but this time replace your voice with someone else’s voice, imagining them saying to you, what you have just said to yourself. You can always change your own attitude towards yourself by taking responsibility for the way you see yourself. See yourself as you would like others to see you.
Give yourself what you need
Life won’t always meet you halfway, sometimes you will have to take a detour before reaching your destination. When that happens remind yourself that it is not about the destination, it is not about the time it takes to reach it, it is not about what happens in between.
It is about you being able to make decisions along the way about what is really important to you in every passing moment. Make every moment count as if there is no other way. I’m not talking about checking items off your bucket list. Because when you’re down and all you need is a loving hug, you couldn’t care less about that list or any other list. Make each moment count by giving yourself what you need in that particular moment. Even if it means receiving a hug from a pillow.
Don’t try too hard
Don’t try too hard. Trying hard, working hard only counts when you love what you do and even then if you over try, you will ruin that thing you love because it will exhaust you. I’ve had many hobbies in my life that I took too seriously, each and every one of them led me to a point that I didn’t like pursuing them anymore. Every time I would think about my hobbies I would think about how far I’m from being good enough and talented enough. So instead of enjoying what I love, I ended up trying too hard which caused me eventually to abandon doing what I love. Don’t try too hard, success is only somewhere on the horizon if you think about it too much you might bring to end the things that you love the most. Keep it fun.
Having Opinions and Expectations
Don’t swear allegiance to your opinions. Opinions about how things should be or turn out to be. Whether those opinions are about circumstance, people, or the entire world, it doesn’t matter. Each time we get fixated on our expectations about how things should be, we stiffen a bit more. As with most things, when they get stiff enough they are more likely to break. Understand that you do not have control over circumstance, other people or the world, by expecting something to be a certain way we create an illusion of control. When that illusion doesn’t meet reality, we worry, get depressed, anxious or worse. We only have control over respecting our own choices and free will as well as the choices and the free will of others.
Being vulnerable is not a disadvantage, it is a willingness to explore uncharted territory. To go where many are afraid of going. It takes guts to allow oneself to be vulnerable. Not many can look in the mirror and say I did the best I could, being myself. If we close up emotionally it will only make it more difficult for us to heal. Being vulnerable is not a skill that you can learn. It is a willingness to learn more about yourself, to be there for yourself, to learn that you always got your back no matter what.