Growing up most of us had someone to turn to in times of trouble. Someone to tell us that everything is going to be okay. A parent, an older sibling or a friend.
We didn’t overthink about how things are going to turn out for the better, we just believed they would. With that same mindset, we fantasized about what we wanted to do and become when we grow up and that also always made us feel better.
Looking back now we understand that we chose to trust the people that offered us comfort. We allowed ourselves to feel better and have faith in what is about to come. Back then we didn’t think about whether our parents, siblings or friends are competent enough to offer us guidance and comfort. A big part of the world and life was unknown, and one of the benefits of that was that was, that everything can happen and turn around for the best.
But as we grew older, we gained more knowledge about the world and the lives of other people. Suddenly we saw those that offered us guidance and comfort not as strong and positive about life. Why did they mislead us to thinking that everything is possible when they are themselves lost and suffering? Were they just hoping that we grow tired from the things we liked and pursue some other practical career instead of going after our dreams?
Knowing what we know now, we come to the conclusion that not everything is possible. Otherwise, all the people would do what they liked, and that is not the case. So by the time we have children, we will probably do the same to them, encourage their hobbies, support them and hope they end up doing something else that they are good at, something that will allow them to earn a living in the long run.
At one point or another, we are all tricked into following what we fear and not what we want. Only few dare to follow their desires all in without looking back. You can’t fake going all the way. Those that try are continuously looking back to check up with their fears. Managing fear is time and emotion consuming. People can’t operate being afraid all the time. Fear limits our freedom and creativity. Even those that work the jobs they hate are committed to doing so fearlessly.
It all comes down to what is more important to you right now. If you have a calling that you are afraid to take action on, it doesn’t mean that you gave up. It means that you chose to defend yourself from your fears, first. And this is a good thing. However, that doesn’t help anyone to achieve anything, right?!
So what can help?
Let’s retrace our steps to the point that we chose our fears over our desires. What convinced us to believe that what we fear is real? Was it our parents, society, the stories we heard on the news? Was it a fear of getting old and having no means to take care of ourselves?
Maybe many things convinced us to chose the path we chose. It doesn’t matter. What is important to understand is that we made our decisions according to what we believed in. We all do it. All the time too. All our everyday actions are backed up by some belief, and many of them have resulted from worrying about something we fear will happen.
So what can we do?
Like with every addiction we need to start by acknowledging to ourselves that we are fear driven. Sincerity is critical because it is emotionally convenient not to think about what worries us and by doing that we compromise and live with our fears. This acknowledgment alone may raise many issues that we hold on to, and that would be enough to begin understanding and dissolving all the beliefs and the fears that lead to them.
The issues that will rise as a result of admitting that you are afraid may involve pride, being right, seeing yourself as weak, etc. Every thought that will make you judge yourself, make you feel unworthy, or generally bad is a clue that leads to a belief that was created from fear about yourself, others or life. The more we choose to deepen our understanding of the things that we are afraid of, the more we will see how irrelevant they are to us right now.
Most of the fears we have today were picked up from our environment while growing up. Often convincing ourselves or let others convince us to believe that we are not good enough, capable enough, talented enough to make our dreams come true.
It might seem pretty obvious talking about it. But what is not obvious is you starting to believe once again that it is possible living the life you want, realizing your dreams. And it doesn’t require magic tricks or winning the lottery. It all starts with releasing yourself from your fears and letting the rest fall into place.