Are you looking to fix your emotional pain and seek help? Have you ever found yourself wanting to share but didn’t have anyone that can truly listen? We all have our stories that hurt us, but not all are sure what to do with them. Most times we don’t know how to make ourselves feel better and ponder why we can’t heal for so long.
Emotional pain is our body’s expression to what we think about. It is a burst of energy trying to break free. If you’ve ever had a passionate desire to creatively express yourself, this is something like that, only it feels different. Instead of seeing our emotional pain as our body’s expression, we think that something is wrong with us and we need to find a cure, to fix the way we feel.
If you follow this mindset, then you are probably looking for ways to help yourself, by yourself or turning to friends, relatives, therapists to help you. We tend to think that something is wrong with our stories because of the way they make us feel, and we can’t wait to find out what is wrong so we can fix it.
Looking for what can be fixed might seems reasonable to us, but it is just another excuse we use to ignore our pain because we don’t like the way it feels. We reject ourselves by refusing to accept the aching emotions in our body, stopping our body’s emotional outburst before it reaches a resolution. Every system in our being, when left to its own devices, is capable of resolving itself and healing. But here we are, thinking that we know better.
Many practices talk about the importance of letting yourself feel what you already feel as essential part of healing. However, it is not that trivial nor easy. Once we face our emotions on a physical level, our thoughts interfere.
Everything we experience consists of feelings and descriptions. The descriptions we have about our experience can be mainly summed up by our approval or disapproval about the said experience. In other words, we approve or disapprove every experience that we have.
The main struggle we have when we let ourselves feel is approving whatever is rising as we go. So the other side of healing once you understand that there is nothing to fix, is allowing yourself to go through the discomfort of your emotions and thoughts that describe your experience.
This is where many are overwhelmed by the non-stopping flow of their thoughts and find it hard not to interact with them. For example, when a person is going through a breakup, many thoughts might rise such as – I’m not worthy, I’m bad, I’m undeserving, I’m the victim. Instead of seeing the simple fact that every person has the right to act on their free will, we fall into conclusions about ourselves as a result of the free will of another.
One of the ways to deal with self-judgment when we’re trying to go through our emotional pain is to share it with others. When we’re telling our story to someone, we are not interrupted by our self-judging thoughts. That gives an opportunity for our body to express its pain as we describe our emotions. But choose carefully with whom you share because most will try to help you by offering solutions to fix your feelings before you’re done speaking your mind.
Either way you look at it the only one that is stopping us from feeling good is us. By becoming aware of our own interactions with our thoughts we gradually begin to learn what we think about ourselves. What eventually is keeping us from healing is not the breakup, or being laid off from our jobs, or not being appreciated, it is choosing to believe the conclusions we’ve made about ourselves as a result of feeling a certain way.
The descriptions of our experiences have nothing to do with how loved, respected, appreciated, valued we are in our own eyes. We only begin to suffer when we choose to believe that those descriptions dictate who we are.