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Be After The Change

Most of our life we wait for something to happen. For circumstance to change. For an opportunity to present itself. For the stars to line up just so we can make that final decision, and not look back. Because that is essentially what change really is. A firm decision that is backed up by our conviction that what we want is possible for us to have right now, and so we go for it.

We spend most of our time busy living our lives and some portion of that time thinking about the life we want to live. What we really want to be. What we really want to do. How we really want to feel. We spend time contemplating about changing. As Bentinho Massaro so elegantly puts it, contemplating about change only postpones change from happening.

Most of our life we wait for something to happen. For circumstance to change. For an opportunity to present itself. For the stars to line up just so we can make that final decision, and not look back. Because that is what change really is. A firm decision that is backed up by our conviction that what we want is possible for us to have right now, and so we go for it.

As long as we are convinced that what we want is not possible, we spend time thinking about change, dreaming about it or in other words postponing change, delaying that moment of no return.

It all comes down to being convinced that you decide to be what you want to be. But then one might think, that if it were so easy, I would choose to be in a relationship, to be a billionaire, to be promoted, by I’m not.

We rely heavily on feedback from our environment that change is possible. We also seek validation from our environment that we have changed. If you think about it, for most change is a combination that consists of feelings and outside circumstance. But then again, the circumstance is there for us to have an experience that eventually makes us feel something. So here we are back focusing on how we feel. There is this inescapable and odd conclusion that we derive from all of this that – being is feeling. We all experience having what we have, doing what we do, with feelings.

But there are times that we feel feelings regardless of circumstance. We feel as a result of remembering, thinking, concluding, and imagining. Feelings don’t care about what is real, they don’t have eyes or ears, we can’t touch something with our emotions. What is also important to note is that feelings are triggered all the time, even when we’re asleep.

There is no difference in having feelings about something directly from circumstance or imagination. If you have ever been excited about something happening to you, you know exactly how it feels. That burst of inspiration usually feels even better than the real thing.

However, people choose to change when they feel like it. If change is all about feeling it, then how come sometimes circumstance force change into our lives disregarding our feelings and desires at that moment.

Sometimes change takes time. We all can become hyped about something for the wrong reasons thinking how great it would be, having something. But if you look back at the moment you wished to have that something, most of the time you will see that having what you wished for wouldn’t necessarily resolve your emotions surrounding that issue in the long run. For instance, if one wanted to be in a relationship to feel loved, then by being in a relationship would not necessarily guarantee that.

Emotional growth is a big part of our lives. Our feelings are the compass that is showing us where we are headed. This compass is affected by our circumstance, our mind, and body. When we don’t feel good, that doesn’t always mean that we are going in the wrong direction and we should avoid our circumstance, emotions, thoughts, and our body. It means that we are guided by our feelings to find peace, to understanding why we think the way we do, to accepting our circumstance as is, to be with our emotions in our body, to accept ourselves.

On the one hand, feelings are something that we do not control when they happen, on the other hand, we can affect our emotional state using imagination and thoughts. So what stops us from living our dream lives feeling happy all the time? Is it the circumstance that has yet to change according to our imagined future and our doubt that it ever will? But then again, the current circumstance resulted from our own past thoughts and doubts. If it weren’t for the past, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

Looking back in time, we can see that our achievements today have very little to do with our circumstance back in the day. Our determination, imagination, perseverance, faith all combined with the way we felt is what eventually got us where we are today and will get us where we want to be in the future.

Don’t let circumstance and the way you feel right now determine your destiny. Your destiny is your creation. Use the way you feel to see yourself, your fears, and what stops you until you understand that nothing can stop you, and if something does make you stop, know that you stop only because you choose to stop. Current circumstance has very little to do with where you are going, and everything to do with how you react to them and make yourself feel.

If you want to change your life right now, all it takes is to stop thinking about change, stop imagining it. Place the change behind you on your timeline right now and allow yourself to feel how it feels without interrupting yourself with thoughts like – it is not real. What is real is the way you feel, focus on that when you put change behind you. The more you practice making yourself feel better, the better your life would feel.

I know it is difficult not to notice the physical circumstance. What is important to remember is, what is bothering us is not the circumstance but the way we feel about it. So decide to focus on how you feel. Circumstances will eventually back you up. Remind yourself that they have always backed you up. The things you have right now in your life emerged from past thoughts and feelings. So there is no reason for it not to work again.

If you wanted to, you could ignore every circumstance that has not yet manifested the way you imagine, and live your life as if it did. I wonder how your life would look like then?!

Yours truly,
Boris

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