Can you define yourself? Should you? The very attempt of doing so will always result in looking in our past. Nevertheless, we are continually being asked to describe ourselves at job interviews, social encounters, romantic dates, etc. But what if I don’t want to be the result of my past experiences, conclusions, and actions. Who am I then?
How can I describe myself without looking back? I can’t. And If I try, I would talk about my own conclusions about myself. We see ourselves through our unique perspectives, and that wouldn’t necessarily guarantee that others would see us the same way.
That is why in my opinion, it is better to describe what is important to you instead of trying to convey to others how you see yourself.
A person cannot say what he or she is unless they can see themselves being such in all future scenarios. For example, if you describe yourself at a job interview as a punctual, loyal, responsible, open-minded person, then you’ll feel obligated to convey that image every time you show up at work causing you to stress and worry about delivering on your guarantees and keeping your image. Once we make promises about who we are, we will go to great lengths not to break them.
It is much easier to talk about what is important to you when talking about yourself and let others conclude the rest. We are free to be who we want to be at any given moment in time, but we take that freedom away from ourselves. Committing to a specific lifestyle or behavior makes it harder to change, to dare to be different, to try something unfamiliar, to be curious about the unknown.
Every moment holds an opportunity to be different. If we forget about the past when we’re making a decision, we see how our perspective immediately changes because we’re no longer biased by it.
When we’re in emotional pain, and we choose to forget about our past, our mind rests and stops escalating our sufferings. Don’t define yourself by your past. Choose what is important to you right now.
If what is important to you is causing you pain it means that you have conditions for it to exist as it is. You’re more interested in allowing it to be the way your past dictates how things should be. Don’t let the past dictate who you are. Become aware of it and free yourself.