We choose as a consequence of our current experience, memories, desires. We are continually choosing, although sometimes it might seem that it is not the case when we are taken by the flow of our emotions and thoughts and fall victims to whatever is happening.
What most forget is that choice is always present. It is an indestructible and unchangeable fact of our being. One can say that we are the entity “choice.” Because we are free to choose our reaction to everything that is happening. We have the choice to chain and free ourselves at the same time.
People that say that they don’t have a choice, they choose to see themselves as victims, not being able to change their physical circumstance. Sure sometimes we might not have the means to change things, but that doesn’t mean that we’re victims, that we’re helpless. If you lack the means, the tools, or the intelligence to get what you want, it has nothing to do with who you are. Circumstance doesn’t tell us who we are, that is our job. We arrive at the conclusions about ourselves as a result of something happening to us. We suffer only from the conclusions we make about ourselves.
Emotions and thoughts are happening to us every second, and we react to them unconsciously, the way we wired ourselves to react.
However, when you become aware of your thoughts and emotions, you see that choice is present right there. Of course, all depends on the intensity of what you’re experiencing, but on some level, you can recognize that you can choose to react differently.
But why we react the same when we understand that choice is there?
We let our emotions and thoughts take us. We say – “I don’t feel like doing that,” “I don’t think that anything can make me feel better.” People unconsciously give up on choice and let their present experience take them wherever. Even when we try to take control of our situation we do it form a place that doesn’t believe in choice. We try to tame what is untamable and free. Ourselves.
Understand that you have a choice in every given moment to react to everything the way you want. When we choose to be taken by our emotions and thought, and then try to fix our choice, it doesn’t work because we have already chosen to be taken. But that is okay because here we are again present in a new moment with a brand new opportunity to choose.
You might say that choice doesn’t really get us anywhere, emotions and thoughts that make us suffer don’t disappear in an instant.
The only reason that they don’t disappear is because we choose to believe in what they have to say is true. That is why it is essential to be mindful about your emotional and mental state, about your own conclusions about yourself in that state. Nothing you say about yourself is true unless you choose to believe it is.
But it not easy to stop believing in what we already believe. Going from feeling unworthy to worthy, from unappreciated to feeling appreciated, from unloved to feeling loved takes time, willingness and dedication to change our beliefs.
Sometimes even when we think that we’ve changed our views and beliefs about ourselves, we might still experience emotions and thoughts that raise a doubt whether we actually did change anything. That is okay. Because sometimes we forget we hold the power of choice and freedom and in those moments when we fall back to our old reactions we need to be reminded about our ability to withstand and choose regardless of circumstance.
Don’t give up, be mindful in the midst of the storm, remind yourself that what you think and feel right now is not you, you are the one that chooses to withstand the passing experience because what is right now has no saying about who you are or what your future holds.