When we are unsatisfied with life or ourselves, we start looking for ways to find happiness, looking at what we can do to find it.
But if you think for a moment what is happiness to you, you will find out that the end result of happiness is a peace of mind and relaxation that comes from knowing that you are safe physically and emotionally. When nothing is a threat to you, all that is left is to be happy.
If you observe this moment, and this moment only, you will find out that you are already physically safe. Each moment that you are able to take a breath is a moment you are safe to exist in. However, not at every moment, we feel emotionally safe. Our emotional safety is compromised by what we think about ourselves and what others think about us.
The reason we know we are unhappy is because we can feel that we are not with our emotions. So when we notice our unhappiness we are actually noticing the emotional state that is caused by thinking or believing in something about ourselves or others. Even the perception of all external circumstance ends up in the form of a thought that describes what we think about ourselves and others. What car, partner or job you have are all circumstance that we react to emotionally according to what thoughts we have about them. And if any of those thoughts compromise the image you have about yourself, you will feel it in some form of unhappiness.
Happiness is at the base of everyone’s existence and at the same time, it is not a thing that you can choose to have like a car. The truth is that every moment is filled with happiness that we choose not to see simply because we don’t know it is there, it is not a physical thing that can be seen.
When we fill our minds with thoughts about stuff, circumstance, what is right and wrong, what needs to be fixed, what do I need to do to find what I want, there is no time left to be happy. The capacity of our attention is filled to 100% with thoughts and worries that make us focus on something else other than happiness.
But how can you focus on happiness if it is something that you can’t see?
You must become available to happiness by freeing up some space in your mind’s awareness from your thoughts.
It is very simple actually. Start noticing where your focus goes, what thoughts lure you in, and fill the capacity of your mind during the day. Begin to see that you are distracted by thoughts every second that you are awake. Choose to notice the uncomfortable emotions that are coming up with thoughts.
There is nothing new to this, we all experience thoughts and emotions. But this time instead of only experiencing observe and learn what takes up the most of your precious time.
Know that that time could have been spent in happiness. Let that knowing be your motivation to want to observe more and more until you are completely aware of all the reasons that compromise your emotional safety. Don’t stop until you know why you think what you think about what you fear and what you worry about.
Knowing is power. When you get to know yourself, you gain power. That power can then be directed towards changing harmful patterns and habits of thought or behavior. Know that gaining that power is not easy if you judge yourself during the process of getting to know yourself and your thoughts.
When you judge yourself you’re simply lured once again by a thought that disapproves of you and if you buy into that, remind yourself that it is distancing you further from happiness.
Understand that every judging thought or statement is only one opinion out of infinite opinions. If one person thinks that you are great, and another thinks that you suck. Which statement is correct? Who is right?
The only one that is always right is you no matter what statement or thought you choose to buy into. All your emotional instability, lack of emotional safety, depression, anxiety, is comprised out of thoughts that you bought into that turned into your truth, your beliefs, by which you blindly live your life. They are real because you believed they are true.
You chose some points of view over infinite others and created this image about yourself you call personality. Personality is nothing but a collection of personal opinions and beliefs. Who are you without them? Who are you if you can choose to believe in anything? Who are you if you can choose to change your beliefs? Who are you without any beliefs?
You are pure happiness.
Get to know yourself so you can see what thoughts and beliefs you follow without questioning. Just because you had a bunch of experiences and concluded a bunch of opinions doesn’t mean that they define who you are and can take your time from being happy. Only you define who you are. Stay true to yourself by experiencing first hand that you are your own creation.