My life, my job, my parents, my spouse, my personality, my thoughts, my body. Are these "things" really yours? You might believe that they are since they are close to you, noticed by you. However, they are all temporary, some just passing you by and some are perishable.
When there is nothing left. When you've reached a point of no return. When you feel that you exhausted yourself, drained yourself. When old thoughts and reason do not interest you anymore. When you are tired of your own suffering or boredom. It is time to expand and go beyond all that is familiar. This is when we can allow our old personality to "die" and reborn into a lighter version of ourselves where everything is much clearer, calmer, and freer
Understand that nothing defines you, not even your thoughts and emotions. Choose to focus all your energy on relaxing by diverting your attention to relax your body, without changing anything. You don't allow yourself to feel good because you're absorbed in fighting or disapproving of something or someone or yourself. You don't need to do that. If you think that you do this is your stubbornness talking, not you.