Understand that nothing defines you, not even your thoughts and emotions. Choose to focus all your energy on relaxing by diverting your attention to relax your body, without changing anything. You don't allow yourself to feel good because you're absorbed in fighting or disapproving of something or someone or yourself. You don't need to do that. If you think that you do this is your stubbornness talking, not you.
This practice can be used at moments of anxiety, fear, worry, or whatever is keeping our mind and emotions from being at peace. The main idea behind this practice is to return to the present, to self at times when we have an extremely emotional or mental experience. The purpose of this practice is to awaken from the experience that we are having, just like we wake up from a bad dream.
In our awakened state we are deprived of feeling our true self because we give our full attention to whatever draws our focus. To return to our initial loving, blissful state of being we need to practice letting go of focusing. Here are a few concepts you can contemplate about and practice while meditating or think about in general
sometimes when we feel heavy emotions, it seems like they pin us down, corners us, the heaviness is inescapable. However, if you think about emotions in general including the heavy emotions. Emotion is not a being of its own, it doesn't have a mind of its own, it doesn't have a purpose of its own, it doesn't have a will.